SPANISH MID-TERM EXAM – LAST CHANCE TO WIN! DID YOU FORGET TO IDENTIFY YOURSELF? AY!

carlexonline.com

carlexonline.com

Amigos!

If you haven’t taken the exams, vamos!  They are muy facil!

There are a few things I have learned about you lovely estudiantes of mine.  Your Spanish es muy bueno and your answers so far are right on target…

BUT:

You lovely estudiantes did not follow instrucciones and so you may not get to win the

SPANISH PRIZE!!

DON’T FORGET YOU NEED TO IDENTIFY YOURSELVES NEXT TO YOUR ANSWERS OR I WON’T KNOW WHO ANSWERED WHAT!

QUE????

joysze.blogspot.com

joysze.blogspot.com

So get your NALGAS back to the post and answer again, including your name:

Spanish Exams

You have until TOMORROW (3/4/14) to answer!  Winner will be announced on WEDNESDAY 3/5/14.

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MÁS Español (Spanish Lesson Numero Tres) – SEXO

puzzleclopedia.com

puzzleclopedia.com

BUENOS DIAS MIS ESTUDIANTES!

I hope you have been practicing what you learned in lección numero Uno and lección numero DOS.  If you haven’t, head back over there so you can review before the mid-term exam coming up!

A while back, I wrote a post about euphemisms used to describe the act of making love:

Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another you’ve been “messing around”

There are some doozies out there like, Roasting the Broomstick,  but this is a SPANISH lesson and you need to know your euphemisms en Español!  

After all,  SEXO is the UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE.

*****WARNING : Mature Subject Matter*****

Let’s Begin:

“TO MAKE LOVE”

(I don’t mean let’s begin to actually make love, I mean let’s begin with the euphemisms used to describe making love)

1.  Voulez Vou Coucher Avec Moi  – Ay lo siento, this is French – oops!

2.  Mojar el bizcocho – wet the cake

3.  Derritir la quesadilla – melt the quesadilla

4.  Bajar la caña  – lower the sugar cane

5.  Ponerle la peluca al perro – putting the wig on the dog

16693614-funny-clown-dog--english-bulldog-wearing-purple-clown-wig-on-white-background

“MISCELLANEOUS WORDS”

1.  Incremento NegativoSHRinkage

2.  El lugar donde la espalda pierde su honesto nombre (the place where the back loses its respectable name) — buttocks

3.  Mujer pública – prostitute

4.  Albondigas (meatballs) – testicles

yummly.com

yummly.com

5.  La Cotorra (parrot) – a woman’s private lower parts

6.  Ganso (goose) – a man’s private part

repmanblog.com

repmanblog.com

*EXTRA CREDIT:

*Tránsito intestinal – bowel movement

*****************************

 There will be a MID TERM EXAM on lessons 1-3  on February 28, 2014 (Seriously)                          

Make sure to STUDY all three lessons because the estudiante with the highest grade will win a REAL prize!  

*Details to follow

Don’t forget to rrrrrroll those RRRRRRRRRRRRRRs!

 *May your weekend be filled with MUCHOS Bizcochos & Quesadillas

depositphotos.com

depositphotos.com

depositphotos_12138996-Cheese-quesadillas

depositphotos

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How to Maste-rrr & E-speek the English Language

‘Sanks-God’ that I learned English at the age of 9.  The earlier you can learn a second language the better.  

Some of the known benefits of starting early include, getting higher standardized test scores (didn’t experience that benefit), higher confidence (ok, yes), flexing and exercising your brain muscles to give you a significantly larger density of grey matter (is that what’s clogging up my brain?) and developing a more natural native-like sounding accent.

In other words, if Spanish is your first language, learning English at an early age will ensure that you do not sound like Gloria from Modern Family or Jack Black in Nacho Libre.

I have developed a list of situations to avoid should you be one of the wonderful native Spanish speakers who did not get the opportunity to master the English language early-enough.  I sanks my mother for inspiring me to come up with this list.

1.  When attending church services, whatever you do, do not wish anyone any kind of peace.  No matter how much you try and how slowly you speak, you are going to end up wishing them, piss on earth.  When others shake your hand to say, Peace Be With You, simply reply by saying, You too.

2.  Never tell anyone if you have seen the movie, Meet the Fockers. Do not attempt to repeat the title.  Just tell them you saw the movie with Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller.

3.  When shopping for linens, make sure you know the store well.  Know what aisle everything is in so as to avoid having to ask an employee where anything is.  Particularly the bed shits.

4. When speaking, in general, try to smile as much as possible.  Even though you may be in a perfectly good mood, others might interpret your pronunciation of every single vowel to have an…angry tone. Perhaps the fact that you are yelling, might contribute to this misconception.

5.  If a storm is coming, particularly the windy rainy type of storm, do NOT refer to the actual name used to describe such storm.  Just say, a windy storm.  Otherwise, people might think you are forcing them to hugh-rry up.  In other words, do not tell your neighbors to run to the store to stock up on canned goods in preparation for the Hugh-rry-cane.

6.  There is no E in the word Spain.  Only one, in the word Speak.  Definitely only two, in the word Sleep. I know it is difficult to                  ‘e-stay’ on track with this rule, but try just saying the Sssss sound without that E.

The final and most important item on this list:

7.  Forrrrrr-get  all  about  de  list  above, and  e-say  whatever  ju  wan  tu  e-say.  Be  proud dat  ju  no  tuu  lan-guajes  and  make  de  oderrr  pipol  have  tu  under-e-stand  ju.   Ju  are who  ju  are.

Piss Be With Ju All.