Someone In My House Is Snoring!

snore while sleeping

zquietreport.com

My father was a chronic snorer.  He had an undiagnosed case of Sleep Apnea and as a result, I got accustomed to hearing guttural rumbling noises coming from my parents’ bedroom.  

Fast forward to now.  There are three human beings that currently reside in my home.  One of them is definitely SNORING!!  Could it be my 20-year-old beautiful daughter?  My 53-year-old dashing husband?  Who is the culprit?

Well,  it has been brought to my attention by sources close (in proximity) to me, that I snore. 

Whaat? Not delicate and frail little ‘ol me!  Couldn’t be…

First of all, let’s get something straight.  I don’t SNORE, I breathe heavily with my mouth open.  There is a huge difference!

After adamantly denying that I snore breathe heavily with my mouth open, I finally accepted the possibility of it being a reality and decided to do something about it.  I purchased, “advanced 4-touch technology nasal strips.”  They promise to open up nasal passages reducing snoring   breathing heavily with mouth open.  

IMG_0967

Talk about false advertising and marketing.  Let’s just say I did not look as dreamy as the woman on the box.  Once I found the tabs that one pulls out to expose the sticky side,  I couldn’t figure out if I had it upside down or not.  

The first strip did not stick because I moisturize my face before bed time and the little sucker kept sliding off.  After washing my face and drying it thoroughly (per instructions I neglected to read the first time), I tried strip number two.  HOLY WIDE NOSE!!!

IMG_0977

IMG_0973-1

Talk about opening up nasal passages

After kissing my hubby goodnight, I went to sleep.  Sometime in the middle of the night I awoke and felt my huge nose.  One side of the strip had come completely undone.  Needless to say, I looked quite lovely.

FullSizeRender

Seriously?

 The next night, I tried another strip – this time I placed it too low and could not breathe.

IMG_0972

Reluctantly, I gave it another shot.  That night, I placed in on my nose perfectly, there was no flinging of sides in the middle of the night, I could breathe and I did not snore breathe heavily with my mouth open.  However, when I tried removing the strip in the morning, the skin of my nose came ripping off with the sticky strip.  OUCH!

Mother of God!

I am beyond traumatized by these damn nasal strips and much to my husband’s dismay, will not be wearing them ever again.  Wouldn’t he rather have me looking sexy and snoring  breathing heavily with my mouth open than me looking like a National Geographic tribal woman adorned with nose accessories with an excellent olfactory system?

There’s got to be another way.

Any suggestions?  Do you snore breathe heavily with your mouth open?