WE HAVE A WEEEEEENER! Results of Spanish Mid-Term Exam

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You can all relax and get rid of that Test Anxiety now.  My exams are meant to be fun with NO PRESSURE!

As Juan Pablo from The Bachelor says, Eeez-OKay!

Many of JU answered correctly BUT did NOT identify yourselves so I could not include you in the running for the Prize!

Muy Triste...

Muy Triste…

Here are some of your answers:

1.  Dame el clicky-clicky, din-bat –

El Guapo (the biggest sinverguenza around) :  You will never get the remote control from me, friend!

The Guat:  I’m in charge and we’re watching Sabado Gigante, so hand it over!

Unidentified (Is this you, Jaklumen? Shelley?):  Aquí lo va, I mean, here you go.  Entiendes, pues no soy din bat.

*******

2.  Tengo espinaca entre mis dientes?

Two of JU voted for:  There is an espadrille in my dentures

El Guapo:  Yes but the spinach in your teeth brings out the color of your eyes.

The Guat: I can’t be smiling at el Chico en apartamento 512 because I got spinach in my grill.

Unidentified:  No.  You only have cilantro between your teeth.  Que rico, no?

*******

3.   El perro comió muchas quesadillas derretidas y después tuvo un transito intestinal muy grande.

El Guapo:  Sure, blame it on the dog

Piper:  The dog eats lots of melted quesadillas and has a massive poo!

The Guat:  Our dog needs some Sal De Uvas, he got into the kitchen and ate my lunch.

Unidentified:  Yeah, and that caca huele mucho, too.  What a stinker.

**This whole exercise just proves once again, that we never really grow up and still love bathroom words!

Now let’s get to the Weeeeener!

This blogger not only got all the answers correctly, but he/she FOLLOWED directions and included his/her name!  Woot!  Woot!

SnowWhiteClapping

 The Weeener is a very talented and devoted writer who is committed to her goals.  She is a brickhouse in that she, while facing health issues, continues to enjoy life and remains positive!  I have a lot in common with the Weener.  Like me, she loves to do jigsaw puzzles, takes yucky medications, can barely draw a stick figure and loves to pinch chocolates to make sure they don’t have the gross stuff inside.  She suffers from PTSD because of a horrible Spanish teacher (not me) who used to humiliate her in class, so her TEST ANXIETY was high for this.  

And the Weener is:

JILL WEATHERHOLT!!

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Jill, I will email you to get your address so you can receive the Surprise Spanish Package!!

*Honorable Mention: Inspiretheworld2day who got the second highest grade.

Hasta Luego Amigos!

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Spanish Mid-Term Exam – Take It Now And You Could Win! No Need to Panic

carlexonline.com

carlexonline.com

Are you Rrrrrrrready?  Did you study?  

No need to have test anxiety amigos, I grade fairly and you are all fluent…practically!

It must be my teaching methods…

If you need to cheat review prior to taking these TRES short exams, go to LecciónNumero Uno,   Lección Numero Dos and LecciónNumero Tres.  Or you can use your INTELIGENCIA and figure them out on your own (NO google translator or equivalent site allowed – or I will hit you over the CABEZA with one of my Bricks!)

INSTRUCCIONES:

To be graded considered for the prize, you must comment under “Other” by writing your name first and the answer to the question in English (there is limited room in this comment section so use shorthand if need be.)  DO NOT  CLICK ON THE CHOICES GIVEN – CLICK OTHER & WRITE IN YOUR ANSWER TO ALL THREE QUESTIONS.  Comprende?

The ESTUDIANTE with the highest grade will win.  If there are several winners, their names will be entered in a draw.  

Un GRANDE HINT: The correct answer may NOT be listed.

PRIZE

The winner will receive a personal package filled with numerous Spanish Treats.  I won’t divulge  what these are but TRRRUST me, you will be pleased!  Si Señor/a!

**Winner will be announced next week 3/7/14.

Buena Suerte!

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MÁS Español (Spanish Lesson Numero Tres) – SEXO

puzzleclopedia.com

puzzleclopedia.com

BUENOS DIAS MIS ESTUDIANTES!

I hope you have been practicing what you learned in lección numero Uno and lección numero DOS.  If you haven’t, head back over there so you can review before the mid-term exam coming up!

A while back, I wrote a post about euphemisms used to describe the act of making love:

Heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another you’ve been “messing around”

There are some doozies out there like, Roasting the Broomstick,  but this is a SPANISH lesson and you need to know your euphemisms en Español!  

After all,  SEXO is the UNIVERSAL LANGUAGE.

*****WARNING : Mature Subject Matter*****

Let’s Begin:

“TO MAKE LOVE”

(I don’t mean let’s begin to actually make love, I mean let’s begin with the euphemisms used to describe making love)

1.  Voulez Vou Coucher Avec Moi  – Ay lo siento, this is French – oops!

2.  Mojar el bizcocho – wet the cake

3.  Derritir la quesadilla – melt the quesadilla

4.  Bajar la caña  – lower the sugar cane

5.  Ponerle la peluca al perro – putting the wig on the dog

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“MISCELLANEOUS WORDS”

1.  Incremento NegativoSHRinkage

2.  El lugar donde la espalda pierde su honesto nombre (the place where the back loses its respectable name) — buttocks

3.  Mujer pública – prostitute

4.  Albondigas (meatballs) – testicles

yummly.com

yummly.com

5.  La Cotorra (parrot) – a woman’s private lower parts

6.  Ganso (goose) – a man’s private part

repmanblog.com

repmanblog.com

*EXTRA CREDIT:

*Tránsito intestinal – bowel movement

*****************************

 There will be a MID TERM EXAM on lessons 1-3  on February 28, 2014 (Seriously)                          

Make sure to STUDY all three lessons because the estudiante with the highest grade will win a REAL prize!  

*Details to follow

Don’t forget to rrrrrroll those RRRRRRRRRRRRRRs!

 *May your weekend be filled with MUCHOS Bizcochos & Quesadillas

depositphotos.com

depositphotos.com

depositphotos_12138996-Cheese-quesadillas

depositphotos

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Más Español (Spanish Lesson Numero Dos) – How to Get Published

google.com

google.com

Apúrate, Apúrate!

My Spanish class is filling up quicker than my Depends pad – which means it’s overflowing with students chomping at the bits to enroll in this one of a kind state of the art educational and entertaining program.

This is why I have extended the enrollment period and added 500 new slots.  As per the high demand, I wanted to make sure I don’t leave any of you out from experiencing this unique set of lessons.

Here is another preview of the type of pertinent information you will learn to say, en Español .

How to plug your book to an agent

1.  At a Writer’s Conference:  Hola agente, no pierda su tiempo con estas personas inútiles, yo soy la mejor autora aquí’, duh. = Hello agent, don’t waste your time with these useless people; I am the best author here, duh.

2.  While giving your pitch:  Tengo espinaca entre mis dientes?  = Do I have spinach stuck in my teeth?

randomlyedible.com

randomlyedible.com

3.  Mire que lindo es el papel que yo usé para escribir mi manuscrito, me dará puntos por eso?  = Look at this pretty paper I used for my manuscript, do I get points for that?

dreamstime.com

dreamstime.com

4.  El género literario de mi libro es una combinación de erotica mezclada con ciencia ficción con un poco de poesía e misterio y autobiografía.  Si no le gusta, vayase p’al carajo = My book genre is a combination of erotica mixed in with science-fiction with a tad of poetry, mystery and autobiography.  If you don’t like it, go to hell.

Bonus Random Lesson:

Justin Bieber, que tipo de producto de pelo tu usas?  Justin Beiber, what type of hair product do you use?

Stay tuned for Lección Número: 

google.com

google.com