Love Has No Timeframe

I realize that I have written about my mother’s second marriage here before, but as I sit and watch her and her wonderful husband hanging out in my living room with me, I can’t help my desire to want to shout out their story and tell it over and over again.

My mother.  A beautiful and caring woman who has been my life line, my strength and my inspiration.  Someone who has taught me to accept what is, to make do with what one has and to persevere when the desire to quit is lurking nearby.

In her mid 70’s after having lived as a widow for twelve difficult years following the death of my father (her childhood sweetheart),  she met a man.  A man she was not looking for.  A man she was not interested in meeting.  A kind, intelligent persistent widower who had heard about her via mutual friends.

He lived in California, she in Puerto Rico.  Friends insisted they talk on the phone.  He gave her his email address, she purposely lost it. He had family in Puerto Rico and used that as an excuse to go meet her.  She reluctantly accepted his dinner invitation.

They dined, they talked, they laughed.  They dined again the next night.  And the next.   They laughed some more.  A month went by and they continued to ‘secretly date’.  Not a word was said to family or friends.  Not a word to their kids.

She traveled to the States to care for me after an operation.  While at my house, she behaved strangely.  She giggled often.  She texted a lot.  She smiled. She sang.  She skyped.  She was more giddy than my teenage daughter.  What was going on?

My husband caught her skyping in the middle of the night.  Who was she taking to?  She answered texts while at the dinner table with her grandkids watching her.  She was in her own little world.

Finally, I demanded she tell me what was going on.  She smirked, hesitated and blushed.  She informed me that she had met a ‘nice man’ who lived in California. WHAT??

After interrogating her, alerting my siblings, conducting a paid background check on him and google earthing his home,  I sat wide eyed with a dropped jaw, in disbelief.  She was flying to CA to visit him.  WHAT??

She flew to him.  She remained the moral and assured woman she had always been.  She stayed at a hotel near his home.  They dined, they laughed, they talked.  She called me to tell me they were engaged.  WHAT??

Who was this man?  Was she in danger?

Within a week, he had flown back to my home with her.  They were engaged and beaming with glee.  At a luncheon with my siblings where he proclaimed his love for her and his desire to marry her, we too were instantly smitten.  What an amazing person.  What a kind, loving and respectful man.  How he cherished my mother.  How happy they seemed.

On December 4, 2015, they will be celebrating their 5th year wedding anniversary.  They are by far, the sweetest, cutest and happiest couple I know.  They hold hands, they kiss, they watch out for one another, they travel, they dance, they dress up, they live and they love.

They say love is patient and kind.  I see that it is also within anyone’s reach, no matter the age.

Wishing them both many more years of love and health!

10534632_10204180846182448_948556167904493690_n-3

 

What Women Really Want – Just in Time for Valentine’s Day

morguefile

morguefile

After extensive research conducted by me in which I interviewed myself, gave myself surveys written by myself, took placebos – knowingly, and used real life examples experienced by only me, I have successfully deciphered what women really want, from their partner.

Because of my impressive credentials and pristine un-tainted research methods, some of my results were published by the New England Journal of Women.  Take a look.

New England Journal of Women ( published 2/7/14)

1.  Women want to be looked at tenderly, by their partner.   Really looked at.  I’m talking face to face, eye to eye, mano a mano.   This makes them feel wanted and important.  When a smile is added to that tender look, Oh My…, she’s all yours. 

thinkstock

*Exceptions:  If she has a huge zit on her nose or has a mouthful of chocolates – then, by all means, DO NOT LOOK AT HER!

2.  Of all the women interviewed (me) regarding the role Chivalry plays in a relationship, 99.9% said that it is crucial and a total turn-on. One participant said that when her husband helps her with her coat, she gets all warm inside and wants to jump on him right there and then. Opening the car door for her,

If he can do it, so can YOU.

If he can do it, so can YOU.

rottenecard_9229739_jqyy5jqqw5pulling out the chair for her at a restaurant and most importantly, jumping into oncoming traffic to protect her, were some of the popular chivalrous actions women favored.

3.  Women want their partners to LOVE everything they cook.  It does not matter if it smells like dirty feet or tastes like Taco Bell’s twice refried canned beans, eat it.  Don’t ask what it is, when it will be ready or what is in it.  Just smile and eat it – all.

divinedinnerparty.com

divinedinnerparty.com

4.  Women love to be kissed.  The majority of the subjects studied said that kissing is a must.  Having her partner lift her chin up gently before a kiss was the top desired method,  

cartoondrawings.net

cartoondrawings.net

followed by her partner cupping her face with both hands and slowly reaching in for the kiss.  Mmmmmmm I mean, statistically speaking of course.  

Romantic-kissing

far3e.com

One subject (who will remain nameless) added that being kissed on the neck was her all-time  favorite.

zedge.net

zedge.net

5.  Romance her. The results of the surveys were unanimous.  All women questioned in this study, want nothing more than to be romanced by their partner – especially for Valentine’s Day.  Yes, it is a big deal and she does want you to acknowledge her on Valentine’s Day.  Hello????  And no, a hollow Russell Stover chocolate-shaped heart from Walmart, will not do.

keepcalm-o-matic

keepcalm-o-matic

 Flowers are nice, but dinner out to a decent restaurant is the clear winner (according to the study).  While at the restaurant,  I  they want to be told they are the most beautiful woman in the world.

*A Special Thanks to my research partner,  Bryan Adams who really understands women.

Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman.

To really love a woman, to understand her
You gotta know her deep inside
Hear every thought, see every dream
An’ give her wings when she wants to fly
Then when you find yourself lyin’ helpless in her arms
You know you really love a woman…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=hq2KgzKETBw

They Waited

blogspot.com

blogspot.com

They waited.  Actually abstained from doing it, the entire six years they dated.  Not to say they did not fool around, but she wanted to wait until they were married.  Being the gentleman that he was, he obliged.  He did not pressure her, ever.  He respected her and would patiently wait. She had her reasons and that was good enough for him.

After much anticipation, their wedding day came and went without a hitch.  What a beautiful event it was.  Her dress was perfect, the food was delicious, the guests were dancing and they were madly in love.  She looked like a real princess for that day and he, the handsome prince. They were finally married.

The inevitable would soon follow.  The eve of the wedding.  D-day.  The time had come to consummate their marriage, after a very, very, very, very prolonged sexual attraction.  They would be together as one, at last.  The evening brought with it exhaustion from the day’s activities and much-anticipated excitement, followed by nerves for what lay ahead.  They were free of guilt now.  Legal.  All was allowed, finally.  The pressure was on.  

After settling in, they laid their heads on their pillows and began to cuddle.  They tried with all their might to fight it, but reluctantly succumbed to what their heavy eyelids were telling them.  The exhaustion proved to be more powerful than their desire.  They both fell heavily into a blissful deep sleep.  Consummation, would not occur on that lovely evening, at the airport hotel.

The flight was scheduled to leave early the next morning and they did not want to miss it.  They sat wide-eyed at the gate, she staring at the two beautiful diamond bands that snuggly hugged her left ring finger and he, fidgeting and rotating the gold band which would now occupy his previously naked ring finger, for life. They were on their way to paradise for a week.

What a gorgeous island.  Clear blue skies and miles and miles of white sandy beaches.  The perfect getaway on this unusually cold November day.  They would miss Thanksgiving with the family back home but it did not matter, they were together at last.

The hotel was beautiful.  Open, breezy and tropical.  It was buzzing with excitement as happy vacationers in their bathing suits came in and out of the open doorways leading to the turquoise color waters ahead.

The hotel bellhop escorted the happy couple to their reserved exotic honeymoon suite.  Oh, the excitement was more than they could handle.  They giggled like two kids secretly walking to a forbidden place.

The doors of the suite opened and they stood in the doorway of this spacious, luxurious room.  In the space ahead, they noticed the ever so inviting king size bed, the plush sofa and chair, the fully stocked bar and the beautiful french doors leading to a large balcony.  A newlywed’s dream come true.  A bottle of champagne lay chilling in the icy sterling silver bucket, patiently waiting to be popped open by the love birds.

Tonight would be the night.  The night that would seal their long-awaited union.  The love for each other would finally be expressed in a way it had never been expressed before.  Ah, the thought made her feel a strong desire to be with him at once.  She was ready.  He was happy that she was ready.  Finally, together as one.

As she entered the room, she came to a halt and gasped.  Oh My God.  This could not be happening.  At first, she was not entirely sure of what she was seeing but after a more careful and detailed look, she knew it was true.  The beautiful comforter draped over the luxurious bed which matched perfectly with the flowing drapes outlining the large windows that faced the calm ocean below, were both in fact the same exact fabric and pattern, as the favorite and luxurious bathrobe worn by her mother, every single day.

She felt a sudden rush of blood escaping her head and became light-headed. She had to sit down.  Her mother’s presence was palpable.  Her mother was inside the room. With them.  On their honeymoon.  Vibrantly visible.  She looked at the comforter and could visualize her mother back at home, happily making the family breakfast and smiling, in her bathrobe.  She glanced up at the drapes and there, she saw her mother’s spirit dancing along with the breeze of the ocean, staring down at them, watching them, policing them and making sure no consummation, would take place.

How was she to relax and let him take her into his arms and make love to her for the very first time?  To finally give in to his manly ways and be completely his?  The comforter, the drapes, her peering eyes and her presence.  All there in the room, with them.

You will be happy to know that after the initial shock of feeling her mother’s presence in their suite, they soon relaxed.  The bottle of champagne was popped open and they watched in anticipation as the sparkling foamy and rich liquid erupted and cascaded down the firm bottle and was quickly consumed by both. Mmmm.  It was smooth.  It was rich.  It was perfect.

Twenty four years later, they remain happily married.  Very much in love and consuming many, many bottles of guilt-less, tantalizing champagne.

The Swim to My 50s – Maria Maria

images-17

A “Maria” with Man With Great Abs

You all know me as brickhousechick, the one who is swimming to her 50s and trying not to drown along the way, right?  I reveal bits and pieces about myself but never too much, or so I think.  Maybe some pictures here and there and ok, sometimes my very private moments and thoughts, but never my name.

When a wonderful blogger whom I admire greatly, Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson (please visit her blog) at http://rasjacobson.com/  begged me to tell her my actual name because she was tired of referring to me as brickhousechick and felt we had reached a higher and more intimate blogging level, I did it.  I told her my first name.

This prompted me to write this post about my name.  Thanks Renée, for encouraging me to, come out…

Where I come from, Maria is a very typical and widely used name.  If you don’t believe me, you can ask my mother, Maria; my sister, Maria; my cousin, Maria; my other cousin Maria and my other-other cousin, Maria.  It is true.  We are all Marias with different middle names so as to distinguish ourselves… somewhat.

I have found that, unlike in Puerto Rico, here in the States when you tell people that your name is Maria, their face seems to light up.  I usually get a smile.  And, often times am serenaded with West Side Story‘s, I Just Met a Girl Named Maria, which I always enjoy hearing – especially if they can carry a tune.

I have also been told that I look like a Maria.  Not sure what that really means, but it may be a compliment.  At least I believe so based on what I envision a Maria to look like.

Take these lovely ladies pictured below.  I do not know them, but they are what I think a Maria is supposed to look like.  Tall, sexy, slender, sensual long dark hair and an army of tall, dark and handsome men, in pursuit of her love and affection.  Oh…Maria {heavy breathing}.

images-14

 

images-16

For some reason, artists like to sing about Marias. They are usually in search of their special Maria and like to repeat her name. 

My husband’s all time favorite is Carlos Santana’s, Maria Maria.  It is quite sexy when he sings it to me.  I feel like one of the Marias above and to top it all, he is tall, dark and handsome.  I am not from Spanish Harlem and did not fall in love in East L.A. to the sounds of the guitar played by Carlos Santana, but my name is Maria (damn it) and that’s enough to make me feel like the song is about me.

Check out this steamy video of the song and all the different Marias featured in it.  I wasn’t available when they asked me to be in it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=291yD5eUI3g

Then, there is Ricky Martin. MMM-mmmm.  I know, he is gay but that does not concern me.  He is sexy as heck and he must have been thinking of me when he sang, Maria (Un, Dos, Tres).

images-18

Here he is counting – Un, Dos, Tres…

0

Here is Ricky waving at me

You must check out his video: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/sy-1915433714/ricky_martin_maria_official_music_video/

I had not heard of  Willie Nelsons, Maria (Shut Up and Kiss Me) song until I came across it today.  I find it a bit demanding of him to tell Maria to shut up and kiss him and I am glad I am not that Maria! Mind your manners, Willie! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPKGLPPjWrs

Apparently, The Biebs has a Maria song as well. Except that he, Justin Bieber, does not like his Maria in this song and wants her to leave him alone.

Some others are:

I can honestly say that I feel privileged to share this name with so many famous characters and songs.  Especially since, had it not been for my mother Maria’s quick intervention at my birth, my name would have been Lupita (Lupe for short).  My grandmother loved that name and had insisted that I be blessed with it.

I may not look like the Marias in the pictures above, but I have a couple of sexy, provocative pictures with my man I would like to share with you. Warning: Not appropriate for younger viewers:

DSCN5449

Look at how he holds my sweaty hands as we do the Salsa…hot!

Notice where my left hand is....tantalizing!

Notice where my left hand is….tantalizing!

Our passionate kiss, he wants to punch me with his fist, he's so...in love with me

Our passionate kiss. He wants to punch me with his fist, he’s so…in love with me

My red latin lips...

My Red Latin Lips…

You can call me, Maria Maria.