zquietreport.com
My father was a chronic snorer. He had an undiagnosed case of Sleep Apnea and as a result, I got accustomed to hearing guttural rumbling noises coming from my parents’ bedroom.
Fast forward to now. There are three human beings that currently reside in my home. One of them is definitely SNORING!! Could it be my 20-year-old beautiful daughter? My 53-year-old dashing husband? Who is the culprit?
Well, it has been brought to my attention by sources close (in proximity) to me, that I snore.
Whaat? Not delicate and frail little ‘ol me! Couldn’t be…
First of all, let’s get something straight. I don’t SNORE, I breathe heavily with my mouth open. There is a huge difference!
After adamantly denying that I snore breathe heavily with my mouth open, I finally accepted the possibility of it being a reality and decided to do something about it. I purchased, “advanced 4-touch technology nasal strips.” They promise to open up nasal passages reducing snoring breathing heavily with mouth open.
Talk about false advertising and marketing. Let’s just say I did not look as dreamy as the woman on the box. Once I found the tabs that one pulls out to expose the sticky side, I couldn’t figure out if I had it upside down or not.
The first strip did not stick because I moisturize my face before bed time and the little sucker kept sliding off. After washing my face and drying it thoroughly (per instructions I neglected to read the first time), I tried strip number two. HOLY WIDE NOSE!!!
Talk about opening up nasal passages
After kissing my hubby goodnight, I went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night I awoke and felt my huge nose. One side of the strip had come completely undone. Needless to say, I looked quite lovely.
Seriously?
The next night, I tried another strip – this time I placed it too low and could not breathe.
Reluctantly, I gave it another shot. That night, I placed in on my nose perfectly, there was no flinging of sides in the middle of the night, I could breathe and I did not snore breathe heavily with my mouth open. However, when I tried removing the strip in the morning, the skin of my nose came ripping off with the sticky strip. OUCH!
Mother of God!
I am beyond traumatized by these damn nasal strips and much to my husband’s dismay, will not be wearing them ever again. Wouldn’t he rather have me looking sexy and snoring breathing heavily with my mouth open than me looking like a National Geographic tribal woman adorned with nose accessories with an excellent olfactory system?
There’s got to be another way.
Any suggestions? Do you snore breathe heavily with your mouth open?
sometimes it coming from sleep apnea symptoms
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Oh man! I was going to buy a box of those!
Hilarious post though. And you performed a community service by telling us about these strips!
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The things I do for my readers!! 😜 Someone said to get the brand name strips, supposedly they are better than the generic ones I got!! I’m still too traumatized.
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When you go to remove the strip in the morning, try wetting it down first. Saturate it with warm water and then remove it. That’s what my boyfriend started doing when he used the strips and it worked.
Also, if you like an occasional wine or beer in the evening, don’t drink alcohol at least 2 hours before you go to bed. The alcohol increases the chances and intensity of the snoring, er, breathing heavily with your mouth open. =)
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Great advice, Aapril!! Thanks for visiting and chiming in. 😜
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Haha! Yeah those strips didn’t work for my husband either
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Ha!! I love how Susie says that her husband’s nose is super shiny now from all the exfoliating by the damn strips!! 😜. Not good for you that they didn’t work for him.
On a different note, how are you feeling??? 🌺🌺🌺🌺
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I felt like a new woman. Too bad they didn’t give me a new body but I’m still pretty content with how well things went!
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Buy your husband a pair of ear plugs . . . and breathe heavy to your heart’s content!
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Bingo!!!!!! Heading out to get him ear plugs now!! 😜😜
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Try snorting warm saltwater. It’s astringent, and it will both clear your passages and widen them.
I get very stuffy and do that before I scuba dive to keep my nose clear.
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Guapo! Great to hear from you. 🙂 I will have to try this though I am not good at snorting things – shall I use a straw? I’m scared. LOL
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When last there was anybody in close enough proximity there was no mention of me snoring, but that could have changed since then. Good Luck.
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Hi Bob and welcome to brichousechick! If no one can hear it then it must not be happening! 🙂 Tonight should be interesting since my husband got spoiled as I experimented with strips. It may be a long night for him! Oops! 🙂
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Well, your husband took you for better or worse. Just politely remind him that this is part of the worse, and that he needs to honor his promise. 😉
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You are so intelligent!! I am quoting you and letting him know that he is stuck with me regardless! If he gets mad, can I refer him to you? LOL.
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Good GRIEF, Honeybee! I hope your poor nose is okay, and I LOVED the photo series. Oboy!
I snore if I’m lying on my back. I don’t think I snore when I’m on my side. And I get backache when I lie on my front. So I lie on my side. I don’t *think* I snore…ask someone I’ve slept with 😉
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Ha! My poor nose is quite sore. It’s not worth me ripping it up so that my hubby can sleep. Oops, I mean, I love him and all and want him to sleep but – seriously? Hmmm, I’ll have to ask someone you’ve slept with – where’s the list?? 🙂
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Haha! I have a snorer in my house! The solution was for him to sleep downstairs….not quite the solution you may have been looking for, but at least we both get some sleep 🙂
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Just don’t tell Dave or he’ll have me sleeping in Ita’s room! 🙂
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LOL! This is hilarious, Brick! I’ve never been told that I snore, but perhaps I’m being drowned out by Derek’s snoring. OMG..
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Ha,ha!! That’s a good thing, kind of. 🙂 I am always stuffed up and can’t breathe – at least that’s what I keep telling myself and my husband. 🙂
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I keep reminding Danny those strips are ridding him of blocked pores. BONUS!
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Well, they certainly do exfoliate your nose!! Danny must have a beautiful nose by now. LOL.
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I can see my reflection on it. 🙂
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Ha,ha,ha! That was a good one, Susie! 🙂
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