52, It’s Not Nice To Meet You

One year ago today, I decided to take advantage of restaurant “freebies” that are offered to customers on their birthdays (I am becoming my mother-in-law.) My plan was to go to a Mexican restaurant to eat my free birthday burrito and then hop over to an ice cream establishment to get my free sundae…because I’m me and I love food.

I was quite pleased with my grand idea and did not mind one bit that I was doing this on my own without anyone to share the experience with.  Isn’t that what blogging is for?  Some of you may remember that post detailing (TMI) how wrong the whole thing went.  Let’s just say I never made it to my free dessert location due to the fact that the burrito grounded me stuck on a white shiny porcelain fixture at the closest Target Store. Lucky for me, I was able to enjoy many other scrumptious birthday meals once I recovered.

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Although I am very tempted to give the freebies another chance (check out the personalized invite above), I think I will pass and just stick to stealing sugar packets from restaurants and consider those, my freebies.

This year, due to my ailing stomach and aging intestines, I will most likely have a less than remarkable birthday meal/s.  I have been cutting back on carbs and gluten, not necessarily by choice but out of an attempt to ease the increasing daily abdominal discomfort.  It this what 52 looks like?

Let’s see, the birth-day meal possibilities are…endless.  It will most likely consist of a small bowl of cottage cheese with a handful of blueberries as my late breakfast, a round piece of cardboard (I guess they call them rice cakes?) with peanut butter and cucumber slices on top as my snack.  A cheese stick (“I can’t wait to eat my cheese stick”, says no one ever) will be my second snack followed by a salad topped with home-grown acidic tomatoes (that hurt my stomach) from my garden, chicken or fish, more flavorless fresh cucumbers also from my garden, a handful of almonds with some type of blah dressing.  I will then eat two whole bite size dark chocolates for dessert before I begin weeping.

My point being that pretty much anything I eat these days causes me pain and bloating.  I have reluctantly called my doctor to see if we can figure out what is going on THIS TIME.  I am NOT at ALL bitter that my body keeps failing me, really – I am NOT!  What would a year be like without some kind of illness or health challenge?  I wouldn’t know.

All is not lost, however.  I am still very blessed and fortunate for what DOES work and particularly for my family and friends and all that shit…

Thanks to my little sister (who just turned 50 – Thank GOD), the month of September promises to be a month of celebrations even if no good food is to be consumed by me.  My crazy cousins and I are taking her for a girl’s weekend in a couple of weeks to celebrate her being almost as old as we are. WOOT! WOOT!  It should be a weekend filled with lot’s of laughter, happy tears, incontinence (we are old) and lot’s of celebratory liquid gold!  I will sacrifice my abdominal discomfort to make sure my sister has a great time and is as drunk as a sailor!  Did I mention she finally turned 50?

As if that wasn’t exciting enough, our dear mother surprised my sister and I for our birthdays, with a trip to Monterey, CA where she lives for half of the year.  We are leaving mid September for 12 fabulous days of complete bliss!  See how happy I am that she turned 50?  We are two years apart and our birthdays are one day apart so by default, I get to tag along and get spoiled for HER 50th celebration.

So, 52, I guess it’s a little nice to meet you. 

53 thoughts on “52, It’s Not Nice To Meet You

  1. Another post I can totally relate to. I’m dealing with some issues now and it does get tough to keep the upper lip stiff. Aging is a drag. I know, I’m 54. Husband is 64, and has more health problems than I do. It doesn’t make the future look too golden from here.

    Still a celebration is in order! If you can’t really enjoy aging, at least enjoy the trip! You will love Monterey.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy belated 52, Mrs. B, you beautiful woman! I bow to all of your radiance as you nibble on rabbit food and almonds!! (See how badly I feel for missing your day? Oh, what is wrong with me? Oy. Oy. Oy. That’s Catholic boy penance. I am feeling so GUILTY.)

    Have so much fun on the weekend celebrating your old lady sister’s 50th. May you all leak a little from too much vino!!

    And, oh my Monterey present from your mom!! The best of the best come mid-month!! Yes, you are one lucky Mrs. B. Now. Let’s get these pipes working correctly, doctors, pretty please?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gracias, Mr. B. It’s never too late for bday wishes! I love to stretch out the celebrations as much as possible. The good news is that my stomach issues have improved significantly – since I stopped eating gluten. I may be one of those late gluten intolerant people. 😦 I love gluten!!! But, I prefer not to hurt and not to look super pregnant if I don’t have to.

      I am so excited for this weekend. My sister arrives tomorrow and we head to The Cape, to the awesome place my brother in law owns in Orleans. Four girls, lot’s of gin and tonics, gluten-free goodies and lot’s of laughs. We hope to escape to the beach at least one day if the weather cooperates. Then, a week from today I’m off to Cali! That mom of mine is soooooooo good to me!!! 🙂


      1. Orleans! Let there be music and drink and fine gluten-free food. Lobster has no wheat chaff, right? I am more than a tad envious, my dear friend. You are heading into a great stretch of happy-happy in improved health. Two words: Yee! and haw!


    1. Ha,ha! Thanks so much! I can report that my issues have improved since cutting gluten. I kill for bread but I haven’t had any in a week and no bloating and no pain. Damn! Thank goodness there are plenty of options out there! 🙂 🙂


  3. Holy Crap MUJER!! Happy belated birthday!! Sorry I missed this post and the opportunity to wish you a Feliz Cumples 🙂 but I still send it to you with a lot of love. 🙂 And so sorry to hear about the dietary restrictions … at least you could still have a couple of pieces of chocolate 🙂 and how amazing that you’re coming to Monterey for a post birthday celebration for you and your sister after your ladies night out. Maybe I can drive up and catch you and say hi when you’re in Cali. 🙂 If not possssss ni modo have a great weekend chica 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for the wishes!! This weekend will be a fun fest with cousins! You know how that can be. 🙂 Next Wed I leave for CALI! I still can’t believe it! Where exactly are you, chica?


      1. Oye chica! So glad you’ll be coming out to Cali! Bring your sunscreen baby! Well I don’t know if you’ll need a lot of it in Monterey, but still 🙂 I’m down in Los Angeles so if you drive down for some sightseeing, or I manage to round up the family for an aquarium visit this weekend dude we will totally cross paths!! That would be awesome if the stars aligned, but if not well … Buen Camino 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Both of my brothers live in LA and they are coming up to Monterey to see us. SHUCKS! It’s about a 6 hour drive, no? I will be here until the 27th. If you happen to go to the aquarium, for sure let me know! 🙂


  4. Interesting.

    My mother has a birthday just before Labor Day. My father wants to do a meetup on Monday. A DQ Blizzard cake. Hmm… so tempting. I had an easier time last month on my own b-day because Cimmy found box cake mixes that are sugar-free somehow. Not carb free, of course, but still.

    Speaking of tortillas and the like, Cimmy and I went to a Mex restaurant today that was “fast food” style- it used to be a burger joint. We got there late for lunch- but just in time for the 2PM 79 cent special on tacos. She sweettalked the staff when she saw them prepping tortillas, so they brought us some hot and freshly made. Then she told them her story of selling paletas back in the day, as she had a customer that would pay her in homemade tortillas.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Another September baby! My birthday is the 9th (turning 51). Sorry to hear about the food issues. A food sensitivity blood test helped me identify foods that I’m very allergic (no anaphylactic shock, just really sick) to, and several that I’m just slightly allergic to.

    Have an awesome trip and a fun time celebrating! Happy Birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, fellow Virgo!! Sorry that you are not too far behind me. 🙂

      I am so tired of seeing doctors for all my ailments and I’m being a stubborn baby about going yet again, for more tests. I just want to eat and be happy! LOL.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I missed last birthday’s post. I’ll have to look it up. Aging stinks but it also has its advantages. When I figure out what I think they are we can compare notes! And, as they say, it beats the alternative. I hope your birthday has been a lovely one.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much, sweetness! I’m just shocked at the drastic physical changes one feels and sees as soon as we hit 50! But you are right, it beats the alternative. I get why wine consumption increases as we age. 🙂 🙂


  7. Wishing you a very happy birthday! I’m still adjusting to 51- not ready to face 52 yet! Maybe by then I’ll figure out what these annoying pains in my elbows, knees and feet are!

    Enjoy your birthday trip! Sounds like a great time! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, sweet Linda! I cannot wait to go to CA and celebrate. I am very close with my family and we can spend 24/7 together with minimal friction and stress. That’s rare!

      I vowed to change up my menu yesterday. I ended up eating some delicious gluten-free pancakes and corn tortilla tacos. WOOT! WOOT! 🙂


    1. Thank you, Honeybee! I cannot wait to spend time with my crazy fun cousins next weekend and then my mom the following week. Just picture a bunch of brick houses dancing, eating, laughing and drinking 24/7. That would be us!

      I’m getting so excited for you and your upcoming trip. When exactly do you arrive in Murica?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I arrive next Thursday – ONE WEEK – into NYC, where Samara will get me and keep me, and then I’m OFF on a whirlwind tour of people and places and I’m going to barely know which end is upwards, by the time it’s finished.

        Your cousins sound fun 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Sounds like suitable celebrations in the works. WOOT!

    And best of luck with the GI issues. Hope your figure out what to avoid and what you can still enjoy ~ then enjoy those things to the MAX.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so looking forward to celebrating all month! I know it will be a blast to get together with my cousins, mother and sister. We are all a bunch of silly ladies who have to have fun at all times. 🙂 I’ll hopefully find delicious foods to indulge in.


  9. Happy birthday Maria! Hope you have a wonderful day and a fantastic trip. It’s always so nice to have something to look forward to and I do remember that story from last year. Take it easy girl! One bite at a time. No salad on your birthday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No salad was consumed on my bday!!! I ate two gluten-free chocolate chip pancakes and corn tortilla fish tacos!! Hooray for me! My tummy did not hurt although it did still blow up like a balloon. Oh well…it was worth it. You are right about it being nice to have a carrot dangling and looking forward to something in the near future. 🙂


  10. Happy Birthday! No one rocks 52 like you do, my friend.

    I’m sure you’ve had more unsolicited advice than you can stomach, so to speak, so why stop now, right? For what it’s worth, I had a considerable amount of gastrointestinal distress a few years back. I cut out gluten, almonds, and cow dairy, and I’ve been fine since then. I’m now convinced that cow dairy is as explosive as fertilizer. It’s not the lactose. It’s something about how it’s processed these days. Good luck!

    Have a wonderful birthday trip! I hope you will make some amazing memories. Thank your mother for me for having you. The world is a better place with your wit, your humor, and your smile.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Piper, you are so filled with awesomejuice! I will tell my mother exactly what you said and she will love you to pieces! 🙂 🙂

      I have cut the gluten but not the dairy. Before my problems started I wasn’t eating much dairy anyway. I’ll have to try cutting the almonds, though I love those. Sigh. The problem is that I LOVE food. I don’t mean that I love food, I mean I REALLY LOVE LOVE LOVE all food. I dream about it 24/7. It’s not an emotional attachment to food, it’s about tasting flavors and enjoying every bite! I need to find some comparable alternatives pronto. xoxo


  11. Happy birthday! Mine is this week. Sigh. I hear you when you say your body’s failing you. I think my foot’s broken (again), my knee gave out as I walked up the stairs last night and my back is on fire, so I’m eating Advil like M&Ms. But I’m still alive so there’s that. heehee. Enjoy your upcoming trip, sounds like so much fun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ay, you poor thing! It’s just not right!!! I hope you get to celebrate your day with minimum pain and on an Advil high. I may just stuff my face with a chocolate cake because it’s so good going down and suffer the consequences later. It will be worth it. 🙂


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