Dear Children, I Apologize For The Behavior Of My Fellow Adults

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Dear Children,

I am so very sorry that many of us have let you down.  I am sorry that we disappoint you on a daily basis by engaging in the very behavior we urge you not to engage in.

From a very early age, we adults encourage you to share your toys, say please and thank you, mind your manners, be kind and respectful to others and to never to be a bully. We take you to church, socialize you and expose you to people who are different.  We teach you tolerance and acceptance and hope that you will grow up to be a kind and happy adult.

But in reality, we fail.  We ourselves don’t share.  We are demanding of others, we do not take accountability for our actions, we blame others, we are not kind or respectful to others and we do the bullying.  We model the exact opposite of what we want you to become, and for that, I truly apologize.

I apologize for the times we yell at your coach during your sporting event.  I apologize for giving the finger to a driver that forgot to turn on his signal.  I apologize for saying bad things about your friend Tommy’s mother.  I apologize for calling your teacher stupid.  I apologize for judging our foreign neighbors and the gay waiter at the cafe.  I apologize for encouraging you to always fight to get your way and to question all authority.  I apologize for making you think that you are entitled and owed the things you want.

I am sorry that you saw the mean things we wrote on another person’s Facebook page and for the heartless tweet we retweeted.  I am sorry you witnessed us threaten to sue someone because we didn’t get our way.  I am sorry that we are not the adults we are supposed to be.

I am forever embarrassed and appalled that you have to witness adults engage in insulting rhetoric toward one another.  Everywhere you turn, there is an adult not behaving like an adult should.  An adult with no respect for others and absolutely no civility.

I apologize with all my heart that you have to hear our elected officials, the very people who are supposed to serve us, engage in preposterous rhetoric and behavior.  I am sorry that they have made a mockery of a diplomatic and respectful process our founding fathers worked hard to develop.   I am sorry that even at the highest level, there is bullying.  I am sorry that you are being held to the highest standards at school and punished if you bully someone, yet the adults around you get away with it day after day.

I am truly sorry.

I can only hope that you see how the behavior we are engaging in, does not work.  That the wisdom beyond your years helps you recognize how flawed we are and that in spite of it,  you choose to follow your little kind and growing heart to be the person you are meant to be.  That you let your pudgy little hand reach up to the sky and grab the opportunities that await you.  That your developing eyes see no colors, no borders and no walls.  That your innocent and caring soul knows without a doubt that spreading love and kindness is the ticket to a happy and fulfilling life.

I apologize on behalf of all adults.

51 thoughts on “Dear Children, I Apologize For The Behavior Of My Fellow Adults

  1. Very powerful post. Unfortunately, you are right. We are kids’ examples and so often we are terrible ones. Especially lately, with all that has been going on. What is all this absurd behavior teaching our children? It’s certainly not compassion, love, responsibility or respect. It’s a scary world out there and it’s our job to change it – by being the good examples that we’re supposed to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. All those things are true and well said. I have to add a special apology to my kids, though, for all the times I tell them to eat a proper breakfast and then buy a doughnut for myself on my way to work.

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  3. Adults do have a few people to call them out on their bad behavior.

    They are called “police”, “judges”, “CPS”, etc.

    And adults can give them some pretty lousy excuses, too.

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  4. Dear Maria, you said it and so perfectly. I can only thank for you doing so. When I walk into town, it is the young who apologise if they accidentally bump into me, the middle aged and elderly scowl and walk on by. It is the young who say please and thank you while the middle aged push in and push past with never so much as a polite mention or ‘excuse me’. And that, of course, is just the beginning. What a fantastic post, so elequently written and sadly, so so true (but I adore the ending, for that too is so, so true) ❤ xoxo

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  5. Maria: This post really touched me and came at the perfect time. I work in retail (one of my two jobs then our writing…shew! lol). The other day, I was at work and two customers began a verbal cussing match over one being in the express check with six items too many. What started out normal volume soon became yelling horrible profanities. I tried to calm both parties down, as it’s my job to keep the customers calm, when I noticed a teenager with his phone out filming these men in their sixties. At first, I thought it was his warped way of getting hits on Youtube and making light of it. But then, the teenager surprised me and Inion. He shook his head and said. “And they say we have no respect for others and don’t know how to act in public. What a freaking joke!” So as you can see, this is why I said this couldn’t have come at a better time!!! Bravo to you my dear. You have the heart of an angel a great mind that is always thinking of others and a beautiful way of getting an important point across. We will be sharing this message for all to see!!!! You are amazing, BHC!!!! ❤ xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t even…unbelievable that this happened. Seriously? What is wrong with this world? How awesome that the teenager spoke up and filmed the insane behavior of grown adults, that is the best! The political debates and rhetoric are killing me and make me ashamed that I am an adult. We need to learn from the children and remember our manners! Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words – always. Mucho amor! xoxo

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  6. Well said!
    Ugh. So frustrating and sadly ironic. We have so much focus on anti-bullying…yet look at the behavior on reality shows, red carpet criticism, name-calling in politics, news media etc. I have a post ½-written on this topic. Nice is so under-rated.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Duuuuuuude have you been watching the news? All this fighting and bashing and celebrities and adults hating one another on TV and social media burns me out. A lot of bad behavior out there but it’s a good message you put out to be more mindful, maybe people will start paying attention. Good post chica 🙂

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  8. Beautifully put. I’m embarrassed too at the poor showing. And I’m thinking of myself–at my road rage and critical nature. And people wonder why I don’t post more on Twitter. Because I would probably act a fool.

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  9. I feel ya’. I’m so embarrassed when I act out inappropriately. I’ve taken to reading books when I ride with my husband through heavy traffic. My nerves can’t take the full visual. 🙂

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    1. Hello, beautiful lady! I don’t mean to preach, I just shake my head and can’t believe the things that come out of our mouths. What happened to us? Why so angry, entitled and quick to judge? What are we teaching our little ones? xo

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  10. So beautiful Maria. Now that I am separated from my husband, I see how entitled I was acting, and I’m ashamed. Though our love was flawed, I did the best I could at any given moment. I have a hard education coming my way now as I learn to live independently for the first time in my life. I want to say kind words about the man who held my hand for so long. I miss that person. One of the hRdest things I’m having to do is accept responsibility for our failed marriage. Instead of blaming him completely, I have had to recognize that it was both of us together. Divorce is a time where things can get ugly. I’m trying to remain civilized during this difficult time. Thanks for the reminded and the appreciation that no one is perfect.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh Renee, you have gone through so much turmoil, change and growth in the past couple of years. It is good to reflect and understand why we behave a certain way. We are only human and as long as we are aware and right the wrongs, our children will forgive us. It’s important to show them that life is not easy and that mistakes are made but that it is not too late to learn and become a better person. There should be no regrets, just reflections and education. 🙂

      I am so worried about what is happening around us. On social media, on television and in real life. Civility is DEAD! That’s scary shit! Hearing politicians spew their toxicity makes me ashamed to be an adult and feel sorry for our youth.

      Be well, my friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi, lovely! When I picture little children (with pudgy hands) being exposed to such ludicrous behavior, it sickens me. What will be the outcome of these children who are learning to be like us? We all make mistakes, I know I do but if we could just be more aware and kind, it would make a huge difference. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Completely agree! And you brought that out so well in this piece. I guess we all just need to practice more self-awareness and especially discipline when we are being watched by little ones. And they sure do watch you, don’t they? Like little spies and sponges!

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