Pain, Flowers & Adult Children Back Home

healthylifestyle website

healthylifestyle website

Las month was a busy one.  It has been 20 days since my last post when I told you all about my dilemma with medicinal marijuana.  I have since been approved as a patient and will be receiving my official medical id in the mail soon.  Then, it is a matter of waiting for dispensaries to open up in the area.  Sigh.

I have not felt this bad in years.  Because one of the medications I have taken for the past couple of years comes with too many risks, I had to stop taking it.  I did not realize how much it was helping me until I had to stop.  Sigh again.

Walking in excruciating pain has become the norm, never mind trying to exercise.  My joints are fiery red and angry and are behaving like total @@@holes (sighs again and swears a lot in Spanish).

All I can do in the meantime is thank the heavens above for wine.

One thing that has brought joy to my life has been the flowers in our gardens. My son has always told my husband and I that the day he sees us sitting inside looking out the window watching the birds and flowers, is the day we have officially become old.  I am afraid that day has come.  I just love it when the flowers are in full bloom and hey, look at that birdie outside...  Yea.  Who knew peonies could be so…orgasmic.

IMG_3940 IMG_3941

The other pastime I enjoyed this past month was spending time with my babies (ages 21 & 19) while they were home from college.  They have since left the nest once again for their summer jobs away.  My son is enjoying being a Community Service Officer on an island near the coast.  He is living in an old coast guard barracks with the other CSOs with no TV and no WiFi.  I think I would die.  He has to shine his shoes, press his uniform and shave every morning before reporting to duty – bike duty.  He is looking forward to this new experience which should help him decide if a career in law enforcement is for him.

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Brickhouse-daughter is at a location which, as I write this, is under a tornado watch.  Like her brother, she does not have WiFi so I am not able to check in on her to make sure she is still alive.  She is up in the mountains training to be a swim instructor and camp counselor at a very nice 6-week sleep-away camp.  She gets to share a cabin with fifteen 11 year-olds.  Bless their souls.  She is excited about this experience which will help her decide if a career with children is for her.

smosh.com

smosh.com

I have to say that while they were home, I learned a few new things about the life of empty nesters and got a glance at what a relationship with adult children can look like.

I learned that:

  •   It is now somewhat safe to fess-up to my adult children about all the wild and crazy things I did in my youth, without fearing that they will do what I did.  I do not know what inspired me to do so but they found some of my tales amusing and may have even thought of their mom as “cool” (I’m projecting here).
  •   They are now capable of offering real actual sound advice!  For real.  It is thrilling to see this kind of role-reversal where they respectfully (yes, I said respectfully) offer their views and wisdom to situations Mr. B and I may be facing.  It is almost freaky, I have to admit.

  •   As mature as they now are, listening to me hum show tunes all day long, still annoys the hell out of them.

More importantly, I learned that:

  •    Intimacy and love-making are non existent, when the kids are home from college (it is way easier when they are little and have no idea what is going on.)  I did not realize how quickly a woman’s brain can switch from thinking she is a wild, uninhibited sexy (gotta have it) goddess, to being a prudish, asexual (stay away from me) Mother Superior of a convent, Mama.

Who knew?

45 thoughts on “Pain, Flowers & Adult Children Back Home

  1. Hi Maria: We’ve been blogging ghosts for the past year. Between juggling two jobs plus our writing (book 2 in our P-7 series) & Inion’s health issues it’s been hard. But we’re back on the blogosphere and looking forward to visiting our old haunts. Yours being first and foremost. How we’ve missed you!!! I’m so sorry you are dealing with this kind of chronic pain, my dear. First off, you are in our prayers and we will hold you up high my dear. Secondly, like Meno~mama….LUV THE FREAKING BEAR PIC!!!!! Still laughing. Secondly. I know what you mean about nesting syndrome. Inion made the big leap to move out on her own. (second time, first during college years.) It’s hard. We’ve been such a permanent fixture in each others lives I feel as though part of me is missing. But I won’t say a word to her, because she deserves this happiness. You are such an inspiration to so many. Your strength, the love you give out through your words and blog; and your wisdom. Will be sharing this post for others to see what the face of courage looks like. 😉 xoxo ❤

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  2. I hope things work out for you, Maria. My father tried it for his nerve pain. Edibles, to be precise. He could still feel the pain, but didn’t care as much. So he stopped pretty fast. He didn’t apply for medical; I think partly because he anticipated this. (The other part is Washington state followed Colorado in legalizing recreational use.)

    I’ve thought about it, but, Washington state would probably poop boulders because I have children in the house. We already still have troubles with CPS and I won’t be giving them any more ammo. Annnnd whatever treatments work or do not work for Dad’s nerve pain… pretty much ditto for mine. At this point, I wish the neurostimulator had been an option– as I commented to Kim, my trial neurostim was with Medtronic; they are the only manufacturer that even offers such.

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  3. I smiled the entire time I read this. This is my life in a nutshell. P.S. that bear meme–I can’t stop laughing!!!

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  4. Hey Maria…..I know it has been awhile since I have talked to you. I feel terrible about you going through so much pain. Have you ever thought about getting an Medtronic pump. I had one surgically implanted about 3 or 4 years ago, and it really changed my life. I fought my doctor on it for a year before I decided to do it. I just couldn’t deal with the pain anymore, or live my life, or take care of our boys. I am not totally pain free, but it is manageable. They can put many different kinds of meds inside it, and you get continual relief around the clock. Because the pump works all the time, so you don’t have the highs and lows when meds wear off. Plus it works better, because most meds first go through your brain, then your liver, and then your body actually receives very little of the medication. With the pump, the wires do go up my spinal chord, but the meds go right to where you need it. I wouldn’t let just any doctor do this, but I have an extremely good specialist that I have found, and I adore him. He is terrific. If you would like anymore info just let me know. I know I haven’t been blogging (both of our last 2 graduated from HS this last week), and have been busy. But I have thought of you often, and you have been in my prayers. Sincerely, Kim Carlisle

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    1. So nice to hear from you, Kim! Sorry it took me so long to respond! Congratulations on the graduation of your boys, that’s huge! 🙂

      Thank you so much for your suggestion and information about this pump. It sounds like it’s working as best as possible for you. My Rheumy has never mentioned it as an option. I will definitely ask him about it. It looks like there will be no dispensaries open in my state until the end of September – unless they are blocked again. 😦

      I hope you are enjoying your summer and that you can continue to manage your pain! xo

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  5. I’m sorry you are feeling badly, Mrs. B. Good thing your sense of humor is still AOK. Me and my Mrs. B are ready to make you laugh … or cry … with empty nest stories. We both have ’em. Just saying.

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  6. Praying for relief for you soon, Maria. So glad your kids (and it’s hard to call them kids, isn’t it?) are doing great.
    I have similar flowers posted on my blog. Everyone is planting those!!!

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  7. Hoping you get relief. I was off of my medication while going through cancer treatment and I could not believe the pain. Back to relief is a great thing. So glad you enjoyed your kids. My daughter and her children are coming for a visit in July. Here’s to a better tomorrow for you.

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    1. That must have been so tough to be without your medications, John. A couple of years ago I had foot surgery which included a fusion of a toe and I was not allowed to take my meds a month before the surgery or the month after. It was horrendous! I could take more prednisone now to ease the pain but that’s what got me in trouble last summer. I will wait until Sep when the dispensary opens. Enjoy your visit with your daughter and children! 🙂

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  8. I’ve got a full house here, now that son and his girlfriend are home from university for the summer. (And daughter lives here full time already, because why pay rent when you can live at mom and dad’s for free? :-)) This means pushing off the massive renos of the new (old) house until September, because there is no way I’m dealing with all that with 5 adults living here.

    Hope your pain eases up soon. xoxo

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    1. That’s exactly why I am enjoying our empty nest while we have it. I moved back with my parents after college and didn’t leave until I got married. 🙂 The truth is that it’s actually fun to have a full house for a while, I am sure you are enjoying your clan. I hope they are doing all the cooking!

      Thanks for your well wishes, chica. xo

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  9. I was wondering about you over the weekend. Happy to see you back here and writing again. Hope that, maybe, your feeling a bit better today. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to live like you do. The peonies are lovely.

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    1. So sweet of you, Ally! Last couple of weeks have been pretty bad but this week, I feel a slight improvement – which makes me very happy. I just have to make it through this limbo period and then I should be okay. Today, so far, is not too bad. One day at a time, right? Enjoy this gorgeous day. 🙂

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  10. Your peonies are gorgeous! I love to sit on my screen porch and look at the 3 hanging baskets I have outside, which are the only place on the property with pretty flowers and no weeds and poison ivy. I have to cool it on the wine, though, as that is becoming TOO much part of my routine. Sigh.

    It sounds like your kids are taking on wonderful adventures – how great.

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    1. Glad you have a weed and poison ivy-free space to enjoy! Last night we had torrential rain and ‘them peonies are not looking too good this morning. Oh well, they were beautiful while they lasted. I’m going to have to just look at the birds now. Shh. Don’t tell my son. 🙂

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  11. I’m so glad you were able to spend time with your kids and are at a new level in that relationship, totally brings you closer as a family. Happy for you with that. I’m also happy that you got your clearance and your medical card. Sorry to hear that you’re in so much pain. Side effects do suck! I remember my my dad with his medications we had to watch him all the time for stuff like that and had to keep changing doses, strengths, and combos just to get the right one. Hope this new avenue helps you out 🙂 and those flowers definitely look beautiful. I’m not a good gardener myself…don’t know what it is not even MiracleGro helps me, but I sure appreciate them. 🙂 good to hear from you girl 🙂

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  12. I’m glad to hear you enjoyed time with your grown kids. I know you were nervous about having them both home, and of course, the massive food bills. They had to become excellent people, though, because look at their parents. 🙂

    I wish I could sit and stare at your peonies. They don’t grow in SC. I love them so much.

    As to the weed thing, I’m very glad to hear you’re going this route. I don’t think you or anyone else should be ashamed of using something that helps you deal with your constant, seething pain. I have another friend, and she told me her husband grows it for the medical industry. She started her tale the same way, like she was apologizing or admitting something sinister. NOPE! We’ve got to stop treating this substance like the big drug companies want us to treat it and admit it’s something that could help so many people live better lives without all the side effects of pharmaceuticals.

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    1. Hi Jill! I’ve missed you. I hope your writing is going well and that you are getting the responses you deserve. 🙂 It has been a tough month or so and I am hoping for some relief soon. xo

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      1. Thank you, Maria. I’ve missed blogging, although I’m trying to keep up with everyone’s blog. My deadline is July 15th, so I’m frantically writing each day after work and on the weekends.
        It makes me sad to hear you’re having such a rough time. I think once you have access to a dispensary, you’ll feel a lot better. Take care of yourself and enjoy your time with the family. xo

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  13. Sister Mary Brickhouse Chick? 😀 haha I found that smoking pot really helped my medical problems more than the pills ever did, and without all of the lousy hangover effects the pills had. I had surgery on my neck and now I’m out of pain, but thank God for weed when I needed it! I hope that you feel better soon!

    Rob

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