A Fitbit For Someone With RA & Fibromyalgia:Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha!

brickhousechick
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engadget.com

It seems that everyone and their grandmother has a Fitbit or something comparable to track their steps, calories in, calories out, exercise, weight gained, weight lost and even sleep. I am frankly surprised it does not include tracking your bowel movements or the color of your urine since I hear you are supposed to drink at least 950 ounces of water per day.  Maybe they are working on that feature (can the Apple Watch do that?)

So when Mr. B mentioned to me that they were giving them out at his work to their employees and asked me if I wanted one, I laughed.  Seriously?

tb12

I then pictured myself wearing one of the fancy ones I have seen online and figured, why not.  Except that Mr. B could only get us the plain black flex bracelets and I’m not paying for some fancy cover.

He has since programmed his Fitbit to track his easy-peasy  10,000 steps per day (which he exceeds daily, even though he sits in an office all day.)  Apparently, the Fitbit vibrates when you have reached your goal (dammit, mine will never vibrate) and from what I can see,  he is enjoying this feature.  I am actually happy for him except that I will flush that thing down the toilet if I see that he starts weighing less than me.  

I decided to put mine on and sync it to my online account I had created, even though I honestly saw no point.   After all, I am horizontal for at least 50% of my day, I am fatigued 98% of the time, my feet hurt even when I am not on them, my wrists don’t like to bend and even my hair hurts.

So, what the hell am I supposed to be tracking?  I know I can break the record for hours slept per day, but really.

I imagine the tracking of a typical day in the life of brickhousechick,  looking something like this:

1.  Get my body out of bed (at noon), go to the bathroom and return to bed:

falling-out-of-bed-o

Sleep tracked: 15 hours

Steps Taken: 10

Calories out: 5 (it’s hard work to fall)

**********

2.  Once back in bed, I try to reach the remote so that I can watch TV:

giphy-8

giffy.com

Activity tracked: reaching

More activity tracked: lifting my head

Pain to my neck, fingers and wrists:  100

Sleep needed after exertion:  6 hours

**********

3.  Get myself something to eat:

846-02793192

400_F_46027866_GTHtZ0B7BpV7lL10EoZHcEWc1qYf1lZ7

Activity tracked: opening the fridge

Activity tracked: pushing the start button on microwave

Steps Taken: 12

Tears shed: 26

Calories in:  2500

Calories out: 2

cooperativeindependentliving. com

cooperativeindependentliving

Activity tracked:  operating grabber

Calories out: -5

**********

4.  At some point in the day I should shower:

GIPHY

GIPHY

Activity tracked:  step into shower

Activity tracked:  turn on shower

Activity tracked:  apply shampoo & conditioner

Steps taken: 4

Calories out: 2

Gallons of water used:  50 gallons x 30 days = 1500 gallons, 25 gallons x 30 days =750 gallons, which is a 750 gallons of water per month x 65 gallons per rinse per hour….

**********

5.  When I have to, I go shopping:

express.co.uk

express.co.uk

 On bad days, I use a mobility cart.

Senorgif.com

Senorgif.com

Unknown children like to hang on

latinrapper.com

latinrapper.com

Sometimes, I flirt with meet others

Activity tracked:  turning ignition on scooter

Activity tracked:  putting the scooter on reverse and hearing loud beeps

Activity tracked: placing items in too small of a basket

Calories out:  7

Calories in:  500 (from free samples)

Humiliation: SUPER HIGH

Hearing Loss from Beeps:  Mucho

**********

6.  My final and favorite activity of the day:

GIPHY

GIPHY

GIPHY

GIPHY

Activity tracked: lifting glass

Activity tracked: swallowing 

Antioxidants consumed: a ton

Hearts helped: 1

Happiness felt: limitless

Pain relieved: ALL

**********

PS.   “There is some evidence that orgasms can relieve all kinds of pain — including pain from arthritis, The Huffington Post.  

FYI: The Fitbit tracks all activity.

How is your Fitbit treating you?

60 thoughts on “A Fitbit For Someone With RA & Fibromyalgia:Ha,Ha,Ha,Ha!”

  2. I’ve been seeing people with those daft bracelets on and wondering what it’s all about! I think I’d prefer to just keep a mental tally and decide I’ve been really impressive and fit every day.

    Brilliant post!

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      1. Wow- I can so relate to this! Fibro for 30 yrs now plus if course 9 other health issues😉Just got my fitbit 2 days ago and woke up giggling & wondering if the 10,000 steps was my yearly goal 😂

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  6. Maria, I haven’t even managed to kick it old school with a pedometer. I am working with an old school/church friend who is my physiotherapist right now, and that suffices me. I figure if I can stick to some sort of program he gives me, I’ll be set for a while.

    Plus– I have a few tai chi instructional vids on DVD, and I think I might have aerobics tapes still on VHS. I have options- none of them seem to be the latest craze.

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  7. Haha…oh Maria, you make me laugh out loud so much 😀 I’m not sure the Fitbit is called that here, at least I’ve never heard of it, but I have heard of pedometer-things which track steps but not all activity. How does your hubby manage 10,000 steps with his job? If I had one that tracked my favourite activity, I would be super-fit. That would be the wine drinking of course, what else? 😉

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  8. You REALLY should have your own talk show. You could give Jimmy Kimmel a run for his money!
    Ha! I thought the same thing about Fitbit. Everybody and their grandmother here has one. And everyone’s been waving them at me. I wonder if there’s a Fatbit I can get. . . .

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  9. I wouldn’t use one if i was given the gold one. I see a medical intuitive from time to time, and she can see that just wearing my wrist watch doesn’t resonate with my energy field (something in particular about the battery, I believe), and it makes me tired and aggravated the arthritis in my wrist. Something like a Fitbit or one of those new cell phone watches would only be worse for me. And with your RA, I suspect it would be similar.

    Here’s to your always finding the grocery store scooter fully charged. When I was dealing with my broken foot, the grocery store scooter would invariably run out of juice in the middle of the store, with my basket full.

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    1. How are you mariner? So nice to see you here. I have always had issues with my watches in that the batteries go dead right away. I am sure my energy field also rejects them! I know what you mean about the scooters running out of juice. There is nothing worse! 🙂

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  10. Freakin’ love this, brickhousechick. 😉 My daughter is an exercise junkie. (Inion runs three miles everyday and is avid in yoga and a vegan). Thanks to my accident in 2008, I’ve become quite the couch potato and prefer my range of physical activity to picking the remote up. lol Great post, sweetie.

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    1. So nice to see you! I know you guys have been so busy writing. I hope you are getting some RR too. 🙂 That’s wonderful that Inion is an exercise junkie and that she can do it. She sounds quite committed to a healthy lifestyle. Sorry that you suffered an accident in 2008. 😦 I had fun with this post and rather than getting depressed about it all, I decided to poke fun of the situation. That always works for me. 🙂

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  11. You crack me up! (Although I know neither the RA or Fibromyalgia are laughing matters.) Good on you for never being shy to poke fun at yourself. Drink up. Red wine is very, very good for you!

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    1. I admire you and think of you as the Fitbit Queen! You must get a lot of vibrations on yours. 🙂 I enjoy making fun of myself and my situation because I know that in spite of it all, I am truly blessed. xo

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  12. A hilarious look at a day in the life of someone with an invisible condition (I hate the word ‘disease’). I love your sense of humor about it. I love reading your blog. I can see you as a stand-up comic. Your attendants roll you to center stage on a bed. They’d give you alcohol to keep you focused and awake. I’d pay to see that.

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    1. You are way too kind! 🙂 It is no fun having an invisible condition be it physical or mental, but it is what it is. I just keep focusing on the funny and limit my crying! Although a good cry is healing as well. 🙂 Me as a stand-up? I would probably faint and not be able to perform. LOL. 🙂

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    1. I’ve heard of many that have map-functioned. I am still wearing mine even though it doesn’t vibrate for me. Maybe if I change my goal to 20 steps a day I’ll feel the vibration! Gotta go to change that, ASAP.

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  14. I got a version of a Fitbit for Christmas, but it turns out it doesn’t work with my Android phone. I blame poor gift planning for my being overweight.

    And, seriously, you are the queen of the gif. Truly impressive!

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  16. There is a sleep tracker app I heard about. You put your phone under your pillow and it shows you how much REM sleep, blah blah blah you get. I say get a trade in. I don’t use a fit bit. But it’s funny you wrote about this b/c Scott came home today with one!

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  17. I laughed, though I know you’re not entirely exaggerating. I miss you and wish I could scoot up there and spend more time with you. Even if it’s just sitting in bed and slurping gin-and-tonics.

    I’m leery of the Fitbit. I’m not sure I want someone tracking my, ahem, activity. 🙂

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  19. I’m fit a bit, I get lit a bit, I take a sh … That’s enough, Mrs. B. You’re funny enough for the both of us. I don’t need electronics and technology to tell me how much I’m walking and wining. My snoring stroll partner Ellie B aka Dogamous Pyle and pile of empty Cabernet Sauvignon bottles in the recycling bin are my telling and tattletaling signs. 🙂

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    1. Hee,hee! You are quite the active guy! You definitely don’t need a little tracker telling you how you are doing. Dog owners get a free pass because they walk their dogs so much. Hmmm, another reason I should get one! 🙂

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  21. I had one and I decided that it lied. I won’t hang out with liars, so I had to break up with it. Best thing I ever did. Who needs that kind of negativity in their life? I’m just saying…

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  22. You need a FitBit to record how many times you make your blogging friends laugh out loud.

    One that vibrates and gives you a pain-relieving glass of wine (or an orgasm) every time you reach your goal.

    Yup. That’s the ticket! :mrgreen:

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Glad you had a chuckle, Nancy. 🙂 I couldn’t stop laughing when my husband brought mine home. I am enjoying seeing his progress and learning not to get depressed when I see the amount of miserable little steps I take. I actually have good days where I take a walk around the neighborhood. 🙂 I did just a tad of exaggerating in this post. HA! 🙂

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    1. You are so right. Nothing like a mirror to tell you the truth (I hate that). 🙂 One thing I will not do is to step on a scale. Lifting that huge glass of wine I borrowed from Bette White takes a lot of energy. 🙂

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      1. How about instead of a fitbit, a little mirror that you wear on your wrist. Whether the user is outside running a 5K or sitting on the couch making love to a giant plate of nachos, they could at any time look in the little mirror and see how their fitness goals were going! I think I just came up with a million dollar idea! 🙂

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        1. You are a genius! Will it vibrate? The only down side I “see” (get it?) would be that looking down at the mirror on my wrist might accentuate my double chin from that giant plate of nachos. 🙂

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  26. Hilarious!

    I have been trying to convince my wife to get me a fancy fit bit for a few days now, but I messed up and started working out without it- proving I don’t need it(but damn do I want it)

    Your blog makes me laugh, this was awesome!

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    1. It sounds like you’re kicking butt with exercising, that’s awesome! I have to admit it’s kind of fun to look at the day’s totals (even if it’s not much for me) and see what you’ve accomplished. The step tracking is pretty cool, my husband loves reaching his goal and the vibrating. Tell you wife that it will be a motivator for you. Thanks for your kind words about my blog. 🙂

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