I swear, it was mad ugly.
I cannot even find a photo as ugly as how ugly this tree was.
I picked it out rather quickly, I admit. As it settled in its stand in my living room with its thawing branches glistening and relaxing into shape, it became clear that it was the ugliest tree I had ever seen. The huge gaps between the branches were wide enough to allow for a large neighborhood of tree houses to be built on it.
My entire extended family was coming in for the holidays and I had to do something about this hideous tree. I decided that I would string the lights around it, decorate it and fill the holes with extra ribbon and bows.
The thing is that I had purchased it from the nursery my brother-in-law managed and he had not only delivered it to our home but he had set it up for us on the stand.
I tried, I really did but there was no beautifying this ghastly pine. Mr. B was not pleased, with me that is. You can’t just return a Christmas tree! We bought it, we are stuck with it. There is no way I am calling my brother and telling him that you don’t like it.
I promised that I would take care of the whole thing and sweet talk my way out of this most awkward situation. After all, I couldn’t possibly be the only person in this planet to ever return a Christmas tree, could I?
I proceeded to undecorate it and strip it free from any possible signs of Christmas cheer. Then, I called my brother-in-law who happened to live right next door, to come over to take a look at the tree in question. I pointed out every hole, front to back and told him that I could not tell my family that the tree had come from his place of work because it would give the business a bad name. Didn’t he want me to have a beautiful tree I could brag about and thus, complimenting his work?
After stating that this was the first time anyone had ever returned a Christmas tree, he took it out of the stand and threw it in the back of his pick up truck and went back to his own house (no doubt, cussing me out along the way.)
The next day, I returned to the nursery and carefully picked out the most fabulous and beauteous Christmas tree, for all to enjoy.
Please tell me that you or someone you know has returned a Christmas tree.
Lie if you must.