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Apúrate, Apúrate!
My Spanish class is filling up quicker than my Depends pad – which means it’s overflowing with students chomping at the bits to enroll in this one of a kind state of the art educational and entertaining program.
This is why I have extended the enrollment period and added 500 new slots. As per the high demand, I wanted to make sure I don’t leave any of you out from experiencing this unique set of lessons.
Here is another preview of the type of pertinent information you will learn to say, en Español .
How to plug your book to an agent
1. At a Writer’s Conference: Hola agente, no pierda su tiempo con estas personas inútiles, yo soy la mejor autora aquí’, duh. = Hello agent, don’t waste your time with these useless people; I am the best author here, duh.
2. While giving your pitch: Tengo espinaca entre mis dientes? = Do I have spinach stuck in my teeth?
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3. Mire que lindo es el papel que yo usé para escribir mi manuscrito, me dará puntos por eso? = Look at this pretty paper I used for my manuscript, do I get points for that?
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4. El género literario de mi libro es una combinación de erotica mezclada con ciencia ficción con un poco de poesía e misterio y autobiografía. Si no le gusta, vayase p’al carajo = My book genre is a combination of erotica mixed in with science-fiction with a tad of poetry, mystery and autobiography. If you don’t like it, go to hell.
Bonus Random Lesson:
Justin Bieber, que tipo de producto de pelo tu usas? Justin Beiber, what type of hair product do you use?
Stay tuned for Lección Número:
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Gracias a Dios por tus lecciones increíbles!
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I’ve decided not to publish a book unless someone does absolutely everything for me. Instead I am going to make money off my blog! HA! As for Justin,
Justin Bieber es una mierda de murciélago loco de 19 años. Al igual que el resto de nosotros estábamos, pero no creció en el punto de luz.
PS: I cheated.
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Cheating is highly encouraged in my class. Especially when discussing 19 year old shitty bats.
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Great advice! I bet your students will rock the next writer’s conference.
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Si, Susie. Look out writer’s conference, Spanish students are in da house!
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Más, por favor. I loved all of these!!!
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For $99.99 you will get más. I accept Visa, Master Card or Discover. 🙂
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MUy bueno ☺️
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Gracias, estudiante. Tienes una A en la clase. 🙂
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Estupido I mean estupendo! 🙂
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LOL! Big difference between those two words. 🙂
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Pronto estaré con fluidez! I’ll be fluent in no time!
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Si, pronto puedes escribir tu blog en español. 🙂
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I used the Bing Translator to do that comment, you mean I actually have to start learning?
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Hahaha, wait what? Will this really help?
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Si,oficial de policía. This will help you get published. 🙂
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I wish I’d known number 4 when I was querying.
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I’m here for you Andra, my BFF (Belleza,Fabulosa,Fenomena). 🙂
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me gusto mucho
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Caterina, I can help you translate your awesome poetry into Spanish! Just sayin’. Si.
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Sign me up, Maria! Oh how I wish I knew you during my college Spanish years. OMG! Bieber’s mug shot was hilarious…that hair and his expression…priceless.
Stay warm!
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We really must find out what the product is. My frizzy hair could use some of that! 🙂 Hope you had a fab weekend, Jill.
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This would have come in handy recently.
Why, just the other day, I was in the alcohol management class with Bieber.
I knew he didn’t speak English, because he kept saying “que?” to the instructor.
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He’s my Canadian Hispanic brother from my other mother.
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Bieber? Why bother? 🙂
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Because I can’t get my hair to stay up like that! LOL.
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LOL returned!
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