How to Tame Your Wild Wife – Especially on Halloween

courtesy of 123RF

courtesy of 123RF

When you are a conservative man who ends up marrying a wild woman, it can be challenging.  The best case scenario is that you will even each other out and meet somewhere in the middle.

 It helps if you have a strong and solid relationship to begin with.  And, that your love is stronger than the two of you combined.

I have a friend of a friend who is that wild wife.  She wanted me to come up with a list of suggestions for husbands of other wild wives on how to handle someone like me her.

Since I am a very good friend to her, here it is:

1.  If she is a bit spicy, saucy and wild before you marry her, don’t think you can change her.  I she will continue to be that way throughout your marriage.

2.  She will remain loyal to you and never stray but will still get a kick out of instigating and innocently teasing.   She still enjoys the game but from a safe distance.

3.  Although you don’t need to carry a fire extinguisher per say,  when you are out with her, don’t think she is not going to try to play with fire.  She is a pyro that way and loves to get close enough to the flames but wants you to quickly rescue her from getting burned.

4.  Do not, I repeat, DO NOT keep her caged in the house.  Take her dancing all the time and let her feel the freedom of getting lost in the music. Freedom (or at least the illusion of it) is key.

5.  Step up your game to meet up with her game and let your inner wild child come out.   You will not be sorry (says my friend).

6.  Embrace who she is, be thankful that she loves to take risks and have fun in life.

The final and most useful suggestion:

7.  Dress like prisoners for Halloween and buy a good pair of handcuffs with a 12 inch chain (for some space) and handcuff yourself to her before arriving at the wild Halloween Party.  This will allow her to roam and mingle with you close by.  If you have to use the facilities at the party, handcuff her to one of her good friends that can keep an eye on her while you do your business.

In fact, keep the handcuffs and use them all the time.

She will thank you for keeping her safe while still having a wild time.


12 inch chain

12 inch chain

19 thoughts on “How to Tame Your Wild Wife – Especially on Halloween

  1. Um, great advice for that um “friend of a friend.” I totally agree about the need to go dancing. And great costumes!!! Um, what happened whenever nature called?


  2. That couple sound like our house, complete opposites in a lot of ways. Handcuffs she would never go for. I am glad your friend, who ever she is, is fun and sporty like that. Did you, er she actually break out handcuffs for a Halloween party? Fun post Ms. Brown eyes


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