The information below has not been altered or recreated and is in fact representative of real life situations experienced by my husband, while vacationing:
We are sorry, this historical monument is CLOSED during renovations.
Due to a Hurricane 10 years ago, the Rain Forest is CLOSED.
This natural popular attraction consisting of 220 rare limestone underground caves carved out hundreds of years ago by Taino Indians, which takes 2 hours of curvy roads to get to, is CLOSED for no apparent reason – even though our sign says that we are open 7 days a week from 8 am to 8 pm.
Due to the high rate of crime, you cannot walk around, explore, rent a car or visit any sites around this beautiful vacation destination.
This pristine and natural undeveloped beach is temporarily CLOSED while being torn apart by bulldozers and excavators hired by Hyatt.
Our breathtaking and naturally preserved open space is not open to the public because a huge mall is being built on the premises.
Due to the monsoon predicted on this Mexican Island – that you are visiting for the first time – we advise that you not rent a mo-ped or…drink the water.
We regret to inform you that our famous coral reefs will not be visible to our tourists because of the ocean pollution consisting of oil slicks, pesticides, garbage, sewage and soil that has settled in the reefs and blocked the sunlight, not only making it impossible to see, but actually killing the corals. Had you visited this natural wonder earlier in your life, you may have been able to enjoy it.
And his luck continues:
Even though you have been waiting for 50 years to visit our beautiful State and attractions( California), and are finally getting time off from your very busy work schedule with your sexy recently turned 50-year old wife to visit us, and not to mention the fact that you love historic attractions and earth’s natural wonders AND will be here in a few weeks…
We definitely regret to inform you that due to the inadequacies and idiosyncrasies of our government and the fact that it will most likely NOT be resolved by the time you arrive,
ALL NATIONAL PARKS that you have been chomping at the bits to visit, WILL BE CLOSED.
Sadly funny, yes… that is exactly what I was thinking. Loved the read, but I think the message is…STAY HOME! 🙂
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You would think that we would do just that, stay home. Instead, we leave a week from tomorrow with hopes that things will be cleared up in DC in time. Not holding my breath. There are always State Parks to visit that won’t be closed. 🙂
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Oh gosh! That’s so funny! But so frustrating for you and your husband!! Um, maybe I won’t ask your husband for vacation advice.
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So sadly funny!
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Exactly! So sad it’s got to be funny. 🙂
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Our husbands should NEVER get together to plan a vacation. Mine with his radar ability, always seems to get lost. As he tries to explain…we are just taking the “scenic” route. I even got him a coffee mug that states: Dad’s Travel Service…no maps needed, we just drive around till we find it! 😀
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Thank goodness for GPS systems! I’m not proud, I ask anyone and everyone I see for directions when I get lost, even with my GPS. 🙂
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I friggin’ hear you. Sunday in New York City and I’ve never been there. Come on US!!! Get it together.
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You tell ’em Shelley! Thank God you are here to straighten us out! Either that or we’ll go back to Canada with you. 🙂
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You’re in DC, aren’t you?
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One can only assume that this is the case…:)
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I wouldn’t vacation with your husband either. First of all, ’cause I don’t have the faintest idea who he is. Second of all. ’cause you told me and I don’t want no trouble.
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Smart of you to NOT go on vacation with him for all the reasons you have stated. 🙂
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More time for cocktails!
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Good point. 🙂
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I was wondering why the D’s and R’s couldn’t work things out!!
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Right? Now you know! 🙂
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For a man with such bad luck, he was lucky to find you, Maria! Hopefully this mess will be resolved before your trip.
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He is pretty fortunate in many ways, as am I – this is a running joke we have in the family about every time he goes somewhere. Hee,hee! I do hope the dingbats in Washington do figure it out soon, though. 🙂
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He should hire himself to travel companies that can pay him to not go wherever they want to run a tour…
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Brilliant! If he could get paid for his misery that would be perfect!
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We still have some beaches and historic building open if you are looking for someplace to go.
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Thanks, Andy! We’ll be right over!
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