I’m 50 and I know it…


TODAY is D day!!

Thank Goodness because I was getting exhausted from all that swimming! After much rest and partying, I will continue my swim THROUGH my 50s rather than TO my 50s.

I better get the day started because I have to:

*Figure out 50 ways to leave my lover

*Unleash the “inner goddess”
in me and set my “hard limits” thanks to 
50 Shades of Grey.

*I’ve got to figure out WHO the 50th president of the United States is.

*  Watch my 50-5 inch TV

* Remember the 50th episode of Seinfeld

* Listen to Fiddy Cent

* Look through the 50th best asses in the world by, Elite Daily  


* Say my ABCs, including the 50th letter

* Go 50/50 with you on any lottery winnings today

* Watch the 50  40 Year Old Virgin

* Dream about vacationing in the 50th State

*Not climb the 50th highest mountain in the world, Ismoil Somoni Peak

*Share 50 Scorpion Bowls with my fellow bday buddies like Mark Harmon, Keanu Reeves and… I guess I’ll invite  my husband’s and Andy’s from



Salma Hayek  (a beatch beauty)


*Dance to Brick House 50 times

And last but not least,

I think I will thank the heavens above for the wonderful life I have and the amazing friends and family I am so blessed with. For my beautiful and loving kids, my ok health and for the opportunity to spend the rest of my life with the man I so adore, who is my everything.

Thank you all for being in my life and for reading my silly words week after week.

*I’m LMFAO (Laughing My Fifty Fat Ass Off
So Let’s Dance to I’m Fifty Sexy And I Know It
Wiggle WIggle Wiggle!

46 thoughts on “I’m 50 and I know it…

    1. Thank you so much Kitt! It’s been a long journey with ups and downs but I wouldn’t change it for the world! It has made me who I am today and last time I checked in the mirror – it wasn’t too bad! 🙂


  1. I have enjoyed this journey with you, Maria, and am very glad I got out of the wilderness in time to wish you a Happy Birthday on the actual day. I hope you’ve had as many gin and tonics as you wanted, and everything else was perfect. Here’s to the next fifty being even more amazing than the first.


    1. Thank you Andra, my friend! You have endured many months of my whining to my 50s, LOL. I did a lot of things that made me happy this weekend (including g&ts) and a big fat juicy burger with bun – so I feel satisfied and ready to float through the next years – if I don’t drown from all the eating. I feel so incredibly blessed with everything I have and couldn’t ask for a better life! Glad you enjoyed your time in the woods. Thanks for being such a wonderful friend. 🙂


  2. Happy birthday! So happy you have reached this milestone happily. (Unlike some of us who are still dealing with the aftermath two years after the day!) Can’t wait to see what you do with the next 50 years!


  3. A very Happy birthday my friend! I was wondering if you would stop the writing now? Glad you are just changing the name. Did you ave me some cake? And a dance? Oh, and where did Salma go? You are hotter! I hope it was a memorable one my friend! (big hug!)


  4. You are one in a million….wish it could be sunny out today…but what a nice lazy rainy day to kick back. Enjoy and keep swimming.


    1. Thanks, Mama! The sun ended up coming out! I took a nice muggy walk with the hubster (not good for my hair), but all was good. Don’t be mad at me but I had the fattest juiciest cheeseburger with bun and all tonight! 🙂


  5. Happy Birthday Cuch!! Half time show… check! Get ready for the third quarter!!! It’s always a game changer… that third quarter!!! Cheers to YOU!!


  6. Happy freeking Birthday!!! May it be an awesome one, leading to more awesome ones. Cranking up the music here and partying along with you. I get to start my countdown to 50 in one week. I’ll be 49 on 9/9!!


  7. Happy Birthday, Maria!!!!! I can’t believe the day has finally arrived. I hope you enjoy this special day and all the special days to come. I love the caption under Salma’s picture…hilarious!!!! ENJOY!


    1. OH Jill, it’s finally here and finally leaving! I’ve had quite the busy weekend of yummy non gluten free foods, good music, dancing and eating some more. I did fill an ice tray and fold some laundry today by mistake and my husband reminded me that it was in my “will not do” list. I wore deo and flushed too! So far so good, it’s not as bad as I anticipated. Salma drank most of the Scorpion Bowl which was fine with me because she passed out on the couch and did not bother me. Thanks for your kind wishes! 🙂


  8. Happy Birthday!!!!! May the next 50 years be the best ever! I know that I’ve had more fun just reading your blog updates 😉

    Enjoy your day – it only comes once – and act like a spoiled 50 year old princess – you deserve it!


    1. Boy was I spoiled this weekend, Pam! My hubby went all out! Lot’s of eating, celebrating and dancing. I’ve got more parties to come so I’ll just keep it going for as long as I can. Thanks for the wishes. 🙂


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