Hungry & Exhausted Woman, Dreams of Being Trapped

It’s been a bit of a tough week.  Exhaustion barged into my home (uninvited), snatched my original body and took over my existence.  That little f*****!!

My Vagus Nerve probably invited him in so they could party together at my expense and make me totally useless.

In addition, I am STARVING!!  The gluten-free experiment is going very well and I have cut back on carbs as well.  I notice a difference in my tummy (it’s a bit flatter, cuz I’m starving) but have yet to notice a difference with regards to my RA.

I eat a lot of veggies and healthy foods.  But, did I tell you I am starving?

Take a look at some of the great dishes I have been making:

Tomato Mozarella & Arugula Salad with Balsamic Glaze

Tomato Mozzarella & Arugula Salad topped with Garbanzo Beans and a Balsamic Glaze

Onion, Sun Dried Tomato, Mozarella, Pesto, Black Olives on Brown Rice Tortilla

Onion, Sun Dried Tomato, Mozzarella, Pesto, Black Olives on Brown Rice Tortilla


Chicken, Seaweed Salad, Sweet Plantain, Yuca, Brussel Sprouts, Potato with Dill, Cole Slaw

This is an abundance of food is it not?  Healthy, robust, filling.

But damn would I kill for a juicy cheeseburger with bun and all with some greasy fries!

Or how about a creamy carbonara with lots of yummy REAL pasta, alfredo sauce, tons of bacon and oodles of bread.

One bread, two breads, three breads, four breads, five breads….instead of counting sheep at nights, I count bread!


As exhausted as I was yesterday, I dragged my useless body to Whole Foods to get prepared food to feed my family.  I usually don’t shop there since $ does not grow on organic trees, but decided they had the best prepared food selection.

This is when I knew once again, I was not right, in the mind.

I happily daydreamed, as I pushed my little cart, of being trapped inside of Whole Foods, locked in with no way out and with permission to eat anything my starving stomach desired!

I went section by section, in my mind, of what I would eat.  First, I would get in my cart and wheel myself over to the alcohol aisle.  Have myself a wine, cheese and seafood gorging tasting.  Skip the entire veggies and fruit section completely – who needs those?

Then, I would wheel myself back to the prepared food section. I would start off with their homemade pizza, then their soups with all the bread in the store.

Soon, I would stumble over to the deli and have a bite of each and every $25.99 per pound meat, and every ridiculously delicious looking platter, one by one.

To my left, I would try everything from the hot food bar (even the stuff I could not identify), then hit the cold salad bar and eat even the tofu!

After burping a few times, I would crawl over to the bakery to inhale all of the amazing baked chocolatey non gluten-free desserts, ice cream, donuts, and croissants.  

Consequently, being in a food induced coma as well as in my debilitating exhaustive state, I would grab a $100 yoga mat and blanket, shut off all the lights in the store and hibernate, for months.

I awoke from my daydream to find myself at the register, paying $200 for yuca & seaweed salad.  Drove home somehow, ate said foods and crawled into bed.

On Saturday, we leave for a week-long vacation by the shore.  It’s going to be tough to stay strong and go entirely gluten-free, but I will cheat do the best I can.  

I cannot promise, however,  that I will not eat pounds upon pounds of fried clams and lobster rolls!  

49 thoughts on “Hungry & Exhausted Woman, Dreams of Being Trapped

  1. Not to undermine your efforts, but have you considered that your new diet is not meeting all your needs and that’s why you are exhausted. Not enough food!! lol

    I no longer see the point in starving myself to get thin/healthy (though I am working on dropping 20 lbs). My health is as good as it gets (despite the ms) and I eat all in moderation and rarely eat fast food (which is the real culprit).

    Take a minimal break from such a harsh diet and enjoy some of those clams! Have a great vacation!


    1. I wish my problem was that I didn’t eat enough food, LOL. Unfortunately, that would never be me. I took a fabulous break from the restricting diet and enjoyed myself very much the problem is that now I want more and more and more bread! 🙂


        1. Thanks, Andy! I’ll check it out. Just got back home. Unpacking and trying not to get depressed. My big boy goes back to college tomorrow. 😦 But he’s happy so that’s what is important.


    1. I shore did have fun at the shore! 🙂 I fell off the wagon at times (many times) but I’ve forgiven myself and am ready to attack the week. Lot’s of birthday celebrations happening in the next few weeks so it’s going to be tough. I will not be eating g/f cake, thank you very much. 🙂


  2. Ya know, it kinda sounds like you are starving. 😉 Tough week here, too — but for other reasons. Eventually, I may have the courage to write about what I’m going through — and with humor. {except I’m not sure I know how to do that} Hopefully, we’ll both have better weeks ahead. Just keep swimming, baby!


    1. Just peeking in while on vacation and saw this comment! I hope things are going better for you this week Renne! I’m thinking about you!! And, post whatever you want, it does not have to be with humor, it’s however YOU feel and want to express yourself. XO


  3. Strangely after commenting on your first post on considering going gluten free, I got blood tests back saying I was egg, dairy and gluten intolerant. I’ve been told to try the diet for six months. It is HARD! I am living off seafood, fish and veggies. Gluten free pasta seems fine, quinoa is good and polenta when you really need a carb hit. But I’m with you, I miss the bread (nothing replaces cheese either – be glad you don’t have to lose that). This woman may inspire if you haven’t found her already


    1. Just got back from vacation and catching up on my blogs and comments. What a major bummer about your allergies!!! Dairy????? You poor thing, I don’t know if I could survive without cheese, but then again, you gotta do what you gotta do. I tried really hard to remain gf during my vacay but it was so difficult. I cheated some and probably gained a few lbs. Oh well, that’s what vacations are for, I need to get back on the gf horse. Thanks SO much for this link. I will be sure to check it out. I’ll be rooting for you and please know that you can vent all you want with me when you need to or when you dream about a juicy cheeseburger. I’ll be here! 🙂


  4. I would have eaten every single of your words had the post gone through yesterday!! I could have eaten 5 cows. Today, a bit better but I wake up hungry and go to bed hungry. What gives??

    I am dreaming of all the gluten/fat/carbo cheating I will be doing this week. I won’t go crazy, but I will enjoy myself. There will be 16 of us at my brother-in-law’s beautiful home at the Cape and so I will have plenty of accomplices to help me and egg me on with my cheating. And drinking of course. 🙂


  5. I came here yesterday and tried to leave a very long comment from my phone, and my phone ate the comment instead of posting it for you to eat, I mean, read.

    I always view vacations as places to cheat. Not too much, but enough to enjoy the finer things. Like fried clams and lobster rolls. 🙂 (And some general bread.)

    I think I said yesterday that the tiredness does go away after a while. The body sure does crave carbs, and it takes time for it to stop and realign itself.


  6. If it makes you feel better, I’ll eat my weekend burger in your honor.

    Helpful, right?

    Have a great trip, and once you get used to teh new diet, it will probably feel natural.


  7. Sweet Maria! The food you made looks wonderful. I love seaweed salad. Yummy! I also understand your need for the heavier, gluten-full items. I hope you have a wonderful vacation and give yourself permission to enjoy each moment, even if it means cheating a little. 🙂


  8. Your food does look delicious, but so does the burger. Mmm.
    It’s good that part of you feels good, but sad that its not the part that you were hoping. 😦


  9. I’ve been reading back through your blog posts and realized we have RA in common. Bitch isn’t it? I haven’t heard gluten free could help, but by the looks of your delicious menus, maybe I should give it a try. One more restriction couldn’t hurt could it? They ought to make Marcia Kibble for me to eat. It is very frustrating in this world of delicious foods!

    Enjoy your vacation. Be careful with your “spoons” and come home refreshed with a spring in your step!


    1. So sorry to hear that you are a member “the” club! 😦 How are you managing your RA? And, thank you. I will enjoy every minute of my vacation. I may not come home with a spring in my step but I promise not to trip. 🙂


      1. I was diagnosed in 2003. Up until that time I was a certified aerobics instructor who had less and less to give to it. With a lot of experimentation with RA drugs and 3 rheumotologists, I am pretty much in remission with Humira. I was delighted that although I have bloodwork every 2 months, I just need to see the dr every 6 months. Weather causes some minor flares now and then, but cautionary lifestyle and planning limit their impacts. Yes, this club isn’t one you want to join.


  10. Not only are you a comedienne, Maria, but quite the chef…terrific presentation! I hope you have a relaxing vacation and that you’re feeling better soon. You’re amazing, no matter how bad you feel, you still make all of us laugh at loud with your posts! Enjoy the fried clams and lobster rolls!


    1. I don’t know about chef or the comedienne part, for that matter! I don’t have much energy to cook but salads are easier to put together. I am so looking forward to soaking in some vitamin D and burying my feet in the sand. Maybe my husband will carry me everywhere! 🙂


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