There once was a girl turning fifty
Who thought of herself pretty nifty
She had many friends
And some of them hens
Cackling and laughing all night
She had quite a past she was hiding (not really)
In case they came after her while dining
She acted real tough
Even though things got rough
Cuz that’s how her cookie crumbled
She was full of life
And such the sexy wife
Who kept her man always smiling
She sure did love food
Everything was so damn good
Eating became a real passion
What lay ahead
She scratched her balding head
In the next fifty years to come?
She had a choice
To use her wise voice
And drink herself to oblivion
Ignoring her sagging giant arms
Yet watching them go jiggle jiggle
Multiple chins for her comfort
Which most definitely should be illegal
Life would be fine
With a lot of good wine
So she didn’t really have to worry
Botox was easily accessible
Although transformation – not possible
She looked at her thighs
With an abundance of sighs
But smiled when she saw no cellulite
It was what it was
Que sera sera
She was just going to have to accept it
So she forged on ahead
And went back to bed
Since she could no longer avoid it
She thought about her fate
But then it got very late
And off to slumberland she went
Excitement grew near
Or was it something in her rear?
And she knew she could no longer wait
Because soon my good friends, she would open
the next half-century gate
Lovely poem!
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Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
ORT-ORT-ORT-ORT-ORT!!!!!!!!! I’M OLDER THAN YOU ARE!!! I’M OLDER THAN YOU ARE!!!! I HOPE THEY DON’T DO THE BLACK BALLOON THING WITH YOU!!!!!!!
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Older and wiser my friend! With all apologies to fine wine, you’re just getting better and better..with just a few band aids to hold you, er…, us together. Thanks for letting us sign your 50 year cast / guest book! 😉
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Yes, Andy. Right you are! Only the wine should get older but, oh well. 50 year cast sounds about right! I’ll get over it soon.
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You know, yu can’t reach 50 without a little bumps and bruises and scars. Any one that has has lived in a cocoon and drank the milk of honey dew in the land of Xanadu. You are wiser and have at least one brown eye that looks like the eye of a 30 year old there. ..that I see. Iimagine your mind is one as well.
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You are so awesome! You always have the best things to say. LOL on the one eye I have revealed and thanks for thinking it’s one of a 30 year old. That’s quite the compliment – I’ve never been told that.
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You have a great looking eye! :p You really do! Eat your heart out Selma!
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I slid through the 50th. The 60th I couldn’t stop crying. My sister and I have a phrase we often use to end conversations – “It is what it is.” That covers most of our complaints. HA
Enjoy your birthday!
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Crying through your 60s? Oh no! 🙂 You are so right, it is what it is! I have an agreement with my sister and cousins to allow each other to vent all we want, say, “yea, that really stinks” and not offer solutions unless asked. Sometimes you just want to vent and have someone hear you out. Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂
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Ha ha!! This is awesome! Here’s to this upcoming birthday!!!!
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Thank you!
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I’m glad you’ve (almost) made it to 50, Maria. I look forward to knowing you for many years to come. 🙂
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Sounds wonderful! We WILL one day meet in person! In the meantime, we’ll just keep dancing and drinking our gin & tonics. 🙂
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I just realised that its my Stepdads 50th on the same day as yours and we are going down to my mums to party on the 7th. I will tip my drink to you from across the globe! 😉
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This is so exciting!!! Everything about it except for the fact that I am the same age as your STEP father! You must be what? 10?? Ay, ay! How cool that you’ll be tipping your drink to me from across the globe – gotta love my blogging friends! 🙂
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My mum was a cradle snatcher second time around 😉 I also have a 18 and 15 year old brother and sister – I laugh at her that she still has at least another 6 years of kids at home hahaha
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Cradle snatcher? hee,hee. Oh well, as long as she’s happy.
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She is! 🙂
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I think we should all listen to Pamela!
“The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre
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Yes Pamela is very wise, as are you! Thanks for the great quote. xo
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You go girl! Downhill can be a good thing, right?
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It shall, damn it, Don! 🙂
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Reblogged this on swimmingtomy50s and commented:
Apologies for the reblog. Experiencing technical wordpress difficulties!
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Life is BETTER after 50. Trust me
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I believe you, Pam!
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Happy Birthday. What the Hell, might as well embrace it.
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I know, I’m getting there!
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Great way to celebrate your birthday!!!
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Thank you, frugoal! Nice to see you here! 🙂
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So past her fifties she’ll swim.
Her light just won’t dim.
As she brightens all the lives around her…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRICKHOUSECHICK!
It’s a pleasure to know you.
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You’re the best, Guap!!! How very sweet! I still have until 9/2 for it to become official but as you can see, the anticipation is killing me! Be here already! 🙂 🙂
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