I’m a Big Girl Now – Not



Last week,  I had a public tantrum (I. Don’t.Wanna) about not wanting to make an appointment with any of my doctors and enjoying my 4 month hiatus from the medical world.  Click here if you missed it: 


I discussed all the substances I need, to ease my chronic pain and threatened anyone who considered taking away my wine and gin.

I decided to act like a big girl and make the phone call to see one of my doctors.  I had my appointment yesterday.

I walked into the office sporting my fancy red-hot neck brace which was supporting my neck, which was supporting my head, with felt like a ton of bricks sitting on my neck (it did however, match my lipstick.)  Have you ever felt that your head was too heavy for your neck to support?  And not because your brain was too big?

I have stenosis of the cervical spine in discs 4-5 and 5-6 and have been avoiding having to have a spinal fusion.  Who wants to do that?  Only if and when I have tingling and numbness in my arms and legs, will I consider it.  Fortunately, the debilitating, excruciating pain I have, is not worthy of an operation.

As I checked in at the reception desk, I was massaging my left rib cage which was spasming and inflicting more intense pain.  I looked really good.

I am not at liberty to discuss how I injured my ribs because…I just can’t.  Although my husband may have had something to do with it, the injury did not occur as a result of a beating, so you don’t have to call the police.  I’ll just leave it at that…(blushing slightly, right now).

After a full physical, an xray and antibiotics for an infection, this was the outcome:
The radiologist has determined that there has been no progression of your degenerative disease in your cervical spine and that al he could see was the same old bad stuff he had seen in previous xrays.
Wait.  So…am I supposed to take that as good news?  Hey, brickhousechick, be happy that things are just the sucky same!  Same narrowing of your spine, same disc erosion, same excruciating pain, just more of the same! Phew!
Be thankful that there is no change Yay me!
Then, I was informed that my ribs may be bruised and that there is nothing to be done about ribs.  You just wait it out.  Just like that.  You leave those suckers alone to heal themselves.  Alternate between cold and heat and it should go away in a month or so.
So, although I love my doctor and she is not to blame for my misery, was it worth being a big girl?  Ah…NO!
I ended up back home, doing what I was doing before I called.  Laying in bed with an ice pack on my neck and one on my ribs and having another tantrum.
Chronic pain is for the…birds.  Actually, I take that back.  Poor birds, why do we always wish the bad stuff on them?
The only good that came out of all this, was that I can now add antibiotics and muscle relaxants to my already diverse Cocktail (which currently consists of wine, gin, prednisone, naproxen, chemo & cannabis.)


Cheers!  Drinks are on me!    

28 thoughts on “I’m a Big Girl Now – Not

  1. That is so frustrating! While its obviously good nothing is going worse, there is nothing I hate more than going to the doctor and coming home with no concrete diagnosis or course of treatment. Doesn’t anyone around there understand that I want to be fixed? Can we just do that already?

    The human body is complicated? Nonsense I say!

    Doctors do not exactly love me.

    So glad you’re rocking the red lipstick at every turn, although I think always looking that hot might have gotten you into your little rib predicament.


  2. Glad you haven’t lost your sense of humor. Rib injuries stink…but the getting the injury, maybe not so much. 😉 And you have made the fashion world proud by coordinating your lipstick and neck brace. That really does help the healing process…looking good!


  3. You are so much stronger than me, Maria. I am a wuss. While I’m glad to hear that things aren’t worse, it sucks to be in pain all the time. Of course, since it sounds like you bruised your ribs doing something, um, fun, I’m just going to raise my glass of gin to you and say Cheers!!


  4. I have no doubts you were the best looking woman in the doctor’s office, Maria. 🙂 I’m sorry you didn’t get a better report, but I guess the fact that things haven’t gotten worse, is a plus. I have degenerative disc disease and had two surgeries in the 90’s….no more for this girl! I feel your pain with the rib. I had a hair-line crack in a rib a few years ago and it was painful. The good thing is, each day it’s healing, so hang in there and don’t be lifting on anything heavy. Take care of yourself, Maria. I get to go on Tuesday for my 6 week cocktail..woo-hoo! 🙂


    1. Amazing how many people have told me about their rib injuries. I guess it’s a common occurrence. And, yes I am happy that things are not worse but as you know, that doesn’t take care of the pain. The muscle relaxants have worked their magic today although I slept for most of the day.
      Good luck on Tuesday with your cocktail! I’ll be rooting for you! 🙂


  5. I broke a rib once. Doctor laughed at me and said suck it up.
    Hopefully, with medical technology leaping forward the way it is (Viagra! For women too!) they’ll come ip with something to arrest, or more dramatically slow the degeneration.

    Please tell me you’ve found someone to do custom paint on your neckbrace. If you gotta wear it, it may as well look good.


    1. So you know what the rib pain is like! It hurts to laugh, breathe and move! I better stay away from the Viagra for women, for a while at least.
      I found a great friend who sews covers and is making me some funky ones this weekend – as a matter of fact. Leopard print would be cute. 😉


  6. And… again… I’m reminded of your breathtaking strength and humor. You are the most resilient lady I know… hands down, bar none. And, beautiful to boot. Nice panties… Can I cook for you soon???


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