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Ok, brickhousechick. It’s time to get with the program. Your husband who turned 50 last Fall is seeing a personal trainer (how can we forget Marit…) and is in the best shape of his life.
He is not eating sugar and has cut out most carbs. He’s cranky more often but that’s beside the point.
When are you going to start doing something about your body? You only have two months left. Approaching your 50’s is supposed to give you that motivating kick in the gouda to start taking better care of yourself. Kind of like when you are asked to be in a wedding or going to a high school reunion.
No more excuses. There is an abundance of information out there to help you become a more healthy you. Let’s review the latest information you came across last night while eating Mint Milanos and googling the latest health craze.
1. Prancercizing – everyone is doing it. It’s not that difficult and even John Mayer is endorsing it! Get out there (preferably in your driveway) and prance away, girl!
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2. Lymphatic Brushing – exfoliating is out, dry brushing is in! Get your circulation going and get rid of cellulite while you are at it!
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3. Camel’s Milk – no doubt you’ve heard of camel toe, but now it’s all about their milk! It’s supposed to be better for you. Camel’s milk has been used medicinally for centuries by nomadic people, and is the closest to human mother’s milk. It contains 10 times more iron and three times more vitamin C than cow’s milk. Camels possess unique, powerful immune-system components. Not sure if you’ll find it at Wal-Mart or Trader Joe’s, brickhouse. It may require a visit to the desert.
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4. Ballet Workouts – the latest low impact exercise that is putting a dent on the yoga craze. Can you plié while prancercising?
5. Eating dung from sacred cows – very popular in Asia…
6. Alkaline Water – no real studies show, that it neutralizes the acid in your body, boosts your metabolism and absorbs nutrients more effectively than regular H20 and can slow bone loss. But, don’t lick the batteries. 
6. BB Detox Tea – apparently, BB stands for blemish balm and it comes from Korea. It comes as a cream and has skin whitening components and is used for age spots, acne and wrinkles. It also comes in form of a tea and it is a detoxifying cleanse.
freddyo.com – RIP Michael. 4 years, today.
7. Train Track Therapy – this one will freak you out brickhouse, since you have developed a new fear of train tracks! In Indonesia, after a paralyzed chinese man went to the tracks to commit suicide and was miraculously cured, people go lay across the tracks as a train is approaching, to benefit from the electric therapy, jump off before the train gets too close, only to lay back down once the train passes in order to benefit from the residual electricity. Some will do this twice a day. 
Or… you could just simply eat better, brickhouse.
I would prancercize only if it came with $1,000 attached!
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I’ll do it for $100, Scott! 🙂
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Ok, me too I guess. :>
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$10? Wondering what your price point is for embarrassment!!! :>
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Ha ha! Never met a fad I didn’t like. Well, OK, I’ll never be able to plie properly, but now that I know about camel’s milk!!! Here comes the new me!
Hey, report back to us about how all this goes.
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Thanks! Lymphatic Dry Brushing of my cellulite might be the one to try for me! 🙂
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OMG. I just watched the Prancercise video. I don’t know if I should run out and get ankle weights and those incredibly stylish white leggings or just burn off the calories by laughing.
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I know! Glad you saw the video. It’s a must. I give her credit…kinda. 🙂
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I know what you mean. When someone just puts it out there like that, they get a certain amount of respect from me just for their moxie. She seems like a really nice lady, and that totally deserves respect, too. I’m guessing the workout even works. But still . . .
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Note to self: do not crawl in cave and cry when feeling sorry for myself. (I got a heartbreaking rejection on Wednesday, plus my father has been in and out of the hospital this week. I don’t write about my submission process on my blog, and my father’s accident will lead to my ranting about things in public that will mortify my parents, so……….thank you for your kind words.) Next time: Read blogs.
This was hilarious, Maria.
I signed up for 30 days of hot yoga and took my first class on Monday. Because it seems like eating better and moving more aren’t enough. It’s like my body says, “Oh yeah? You’re going to try that now, are you? Oops, caught you looking at that wine bottle! Look at how much harder I can hold on to that extra five pounds!!!” So, basically, my body has been too shocked to be its usual self this week.
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So sorry, Andra. I hope things get better with your father and with…life! You are such an inspiration and we love your posts – even if they are about hurting. BTW, I can’t get that song out of my mind now. 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful weekend. xo
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Thank you, Marylin! How nice to have you visiting my blog. You are right, laughing is so good for our minds, bodies and souls! I try to do it every day. Have a lovely weekend. 🙂
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This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time, reading about “new” things to try on the way to health and happiness! I doubt I’ll try camel milk any time soon, and with my luck the vibrating train tracks would make me fall asleep, and then oh-oh…
But this post has me laughing, and that’s good for the mind and body, too!
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HAHAHA! Although, this post has made me realize that maybe I need to be a little concerned about myself. I was laughing along about how ridiculous all of this is until I got to #4. I totally do a barre workout multiple times a week (as a break from vinyasa yoga).
Ummm…
Hmmm….
Oh good lord, am I one of THOSE people?! I cannot be one step away from drinking camel’s milk and cow dung. NO!!!
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Hee,hee! Don’t think like that! It’s great that you have found something that works for you and keeps you fit. You are one of THOSE people I admire! 🙂
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Train Track Therapy wow speechless……
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Have a nice glass of wine while you decide which one to go for 🙂
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Lifting a glass of wine repetitively is some form of exercise, right? :O
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Oh yes definitely 🙂
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Yeah, I’d go with eating better and exercise too.
My wife has dramatically improved her health by hula hooping regularly.
And she loves doing it, which makes it easier to keep up with.
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How fun to be hula hooping! Good for her! I might twist something if I try that, but what a great way to stay in shape.
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The jackson picture crept me out, you should have made a warning.
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Sorry Michael freaked you out. It’s quite shocking when you’re not prepared. 🙂
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Are you sure the treatment is to eat cow “dong”? Eating “dung” would be bad enough, but…
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I had to check the words, Im still not sure what “dong” means but Im going to leave it there.
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Dong, dung….same thing. 🙂
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Ha, ha!!! It’s a good thing cows don’t have dongs, Peg! You’re right, dung is bad enough. 🙂
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Love this post! But I think I’ll skip the train tracks therapy. 🙂
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Me too. That would totally freak me out. The dry brushing sounds ok. 🙂
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I think you should contemplate all of this a bit longer – preferably with an open bag of potato chips and cheetos close at hand
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Perfect, Pamela! I need to take my time deciding which new craze to embrace. 🙂
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To all of the above… HAYELL NO! I’ll take my carbs, meat, and maybe some prancing in healthy moderation!! Though I could use a personal trainer, I’m stuck with a worn pair of running shoes and 3 miles of free road… You know what they say about a “new craze”…. there’s always another newer, louder, popular new craze. I’ll take “old school” myself!
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Old school is definitely better, Lee! I agree. 🙂
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How about simple stretches? Stay active and keep those aging muscles limber to keep from getting stagnant. 🙂 its only a number…
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Simple sound good, Andy. I like simple. But, I like food too! 🙂 I just need to make better food choices and try moving my aching body – slowly! 🙂
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I agree, for me daily exercise is the best.
When I was younger I became weak and such, so I started to reshape myself, it takes its time and patient but its totally worth.
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I think I’d lay on the train tracks before trying number 5! I guess Marit is out of the question for you? 🙂
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Camel’s milk does not sound too bad. As long as it’s really cold and I don’t know what is it until after I drink it. 🙂 I can barely take a nice short walk lately, never mind over achiever, Marit!
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Lol, I’ll stick with the band and not the actual tracks.
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Hee,hee. There is always a new craze but in the end it’s about common sense and staying simple. Why is it so hard to do though? 🙂
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Hahaha I want to prancercise!! Man, people would try and sell you anything for a quick buck 😉
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Prancercizing looks tiring! Lot’s of arm movements and skipping. I give the woman credit, she sure looks fit. 🙂
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It all sounds awful! Good luck though!
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Thanks, Don. Good luck to you too. Let me know what works for you and maybe I’ll try what you’re doing.
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