Re-touch Me, Baby! Harder!

Oh…baby.  Please, I’m begging you… re-touch me, again and again.

 Ahhh….mooove me, shift me and rotate me, faster, faster, FASTER!

YES, YES!  Don’t stop!  Enhance me, Big Boy!  Right there, yes, right there!

CROP the @*& out of me, HARDER!!  Do it!  Do it!  DOOOO ITTTTTT!


Ever notice how as we get older, the few pictures of ourselves (even the selfies) that we allow others to see, get smaller and smaller?  Body parts go missing, cut in quarters or halved?

My all time favorite words in the photo editing business by far are;  Retouch, Rotate, Enhance and Crop.

Just look at those words.  They are so, beautiful.  Definitely my bffs.  If you don’t know them yet, I suggest you introduce yourself to them, pronto!

But these besties were not always in my life.  Only since I have reluctantly been swimming to my f-*^@ 50’s, have they so gallantly walked into my exciting life.  

Before then, I was whole.  Complete.  A full person.

Now, I am only a collection of  broken pieces, scattered around like ashes.   


don’t I wish…:)

Take my legs for instance.  They used to look like the picture above.

Now, I can only showcase this much of them:


 My majestic hand, photo-150  can only be seen from afar ( masked by a glass of wine, of course).

Below, is my frontal lower side with my – never leave home without it – fanny pack. 


Here is my enhanced and re-touched Gravatar photo >: 305369_2084617269945_5541082_n 

Oh, alright.  I’ll reveal a bit more:

 305369_2084617269945_5541082_n_2 Who needs a whole face when you can have half!

Well, you get the picture.  

The fact is that as we get older, we feel the need to get retouched, enhanced, rotated and cropped (literally – wink, wink and figuratively) to pieces and show less of our beautiful whole bodies.  

Truthfully, if it wasn’t for the fact that my husband is a public official and I shouldn’t reveal much (even though I am blogging about my most private moments), I would let it all hang out! 


27 thoughts on “Re-touch Me, Baby! Harder!

  1. Hehe, I’d never seen the sensual side of Photoshop before I read this post! Usually I’m just cursing it… 🙂 To my eye, bodies are beautiful whatever age, when inhabited with confidence.


  2. Back at the days when I hadnt drop my camera, I used to take pictures for the family events and such, I heard a thousand times no, no, no… I always told them that it was better if they remaind natural for the camera, everytime they moved to avoid it made them look horrible in the pictures. Eventually I decided to take pictures to some people from the chest up and faraway cause otherwise they would keep crying for its deletion. Sadly for them I like to take pictures as big as the camera allows.
    Me? of course, only ugly people dont like their photos taken, says the person with a drawing on the avatar.
    btw, your avatar looks great, I always thought it was your eye with tears about to come out, now that I looked at the both pictures together, I noticed that you were actually smiling.


  3. I can’t help thinking of the title for these comments: “let it all hang out.” Because that’s what middle age is all about. Letting it all hang out (like we have a choice). Great post!!!


    1. Thanks, L.Marie! You do keep cracking up about the “let it all hang out” comment prompt. 🙂 It’s quite appropriate for my 50’s and beyond. Glad you liked the post. Hopefully my mom won’t read it. 🙂


  4. Cripes… I need a cigarette too… and I don’t even smoke! And, anyone holding a majestic glass of wine is someone I want to hang with! But, you can…ummm… keep the fanny-pack, just sayin’… (what the heck you packin’ in that thing… your fanny-pack commitment is truly admirable!)


  5. I’m proud of my physical damage. every bit of it was earned.

    And at the very least, I can always cross my eyes and make a goofy face at the camera…


    1. In Europe they seem to not care as much what other people think and enjoy their half nude or nude selves on the beach. We should learn from them. Thanks for the compliment, Jill. As time passes, I get worse at “controlling” my thoughts and words. Glad some people are enjoying them.


  6. Maria, I take selfies and post them on Google+ almost every day. Sure, I have wrinkles around my eyes that were there a few years ago, and bags too, but I don’t care. I think it makes me more accessible or more real, if that makes sense. And don’t think I’m not bothered by the softening jawline or the curious morphing of my face into my father’s bulldog one. I am. (And hey. Numerous men in Turkey and India have asked me to marry them on G+, so it must not be too bad.) 🙂

    I love the nature of this post……….you knew I would. Great write.


    1. That’s great, Andra! Marriage proposals from across the world, it doesn’t get better than that! We have a joke in my side of the family because none of us can walk by a mirror without checking ourselves out…over and over again. I am not a very private person so it’s tough for me to have to censor myself in my blog to protect the innocent (hubby). Glad you liked the post and yes, I did know you would like it. 🙂


  7. A while back I read a blog post (wish I could remember where and whose) about enjoying pictures of oneself. The author explained that she almost died, and from that point on she realized how important it was to be seen–that nobody but her so the fat or the flaws. I’m trying hard to live by that rule now, although its really difficult. My first reaction to any of my own photos is–when did I get so fat? when did I gets so old? 😛


  8. It is shame we cannot embrace ourselves more as we grow older. I don’t know why but there is always the need to look perfect. I blame it on the rise of FaceBook and Instagram plus the pressures of media. We just have to let it all be.


Let it all hang out...

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