The Swim to My 50s – Only One Latina Allowed


Salma HayekMark HarmonKeanu Reeves,  Ernest Bromley.  Who cares, you say?  I do, because they all share my birthday  [September 2nd}.  What?  You don’t recognize the name, Ernest Bromley?  Everyone should know the famed, Ernest Bromley!

I am certain that you know who Salma {or as my husband calls her, Oh, Salma Baby…}, is (now, Andy from please try to control yourself) Ok, she is gorgeous, voluptuous, latina {Oh wait, so am I} and although she has not gotten rid of her Spanish accent, is a great actress.  This September, she will be turning 47 {the Be-atch}.

Mark – Oh Baby– Harmon will be turning 62.  He is most definitely invited to my big 5-0 bash.  

Keanu, whose first name means, ‘cool breeze over the mountains’ in Hawaiian, will be 49.  Thinking about him is making me feel a cool breeze over my…precisely why he is first on the invite list.


My old friend Ernest Bromley, is actually just a random person I chose from the list of people I googled who share my birthday.  He was born in 1912 and was quite the Australian Cricketer!  Who Knew?  He will be at my party – in spirit.

I have also made a list of CELEBRITIES who will be turning 50 this year, that I am cordially inviting.  I better get those invitations out ASAP.

Here is the list so far.  Mike Myers and Rob Schneider are booked to do stand-up at the event.  Jennifer Beals, who will be in her leg warmers, is in charge of the dancing.  John Stamos is bringing 20 boxes of Oikos yogurt.  Brad Pitt can just be, Brad Pitt, sans Angelina and their 20 kids.  Quentin Tarantino said he would rub my feet all night long {wink,wink}.  

I will make sure to give Kathy Ireland the wrong date and time of the party.  Larry the Cable Guy is in charge of the electronics.  Seal said he was available, but as we all know, ‘one day you’re in and the next day you’re out’, so we shall see if he shows up.


 Coolio, will be rapping throughout the night and I have asked GeorgeMichael to wake me up before he goes goes.

So as you can see, my party is shaping up quite nicely!

Sorry Salma, I’m at full capacity.


Let it all hang out...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s