The Swim to my 50s


No, this is not a blog about a 49-year-old athletic-inspirational woman who swims from Cuba to Florida right before her 50th birthday and lives to tell about it.   I apologize if the title misled you and understand if you exit now.

This blog is about a regular 49-year-old woman who just realized that turning 50 sounds pretty awful, and who wants others to share in her misery. You see, that woman (me) really believed that it would never happen to her.  She strolled along her 20’s, 30’s and 40’s in complete denial.  And now, the inevitable is only six months away.

It so happens that I am one of the youngest in my circle of friends.  I don’t know why that has been the case (I won’t lie to you, it’s been kind of nice)  but I do know that I am blessed to have these wonderful “older” people in my life.  By older, I mean that they have already crossed over to the dreaded 5‘s.   There are a few friends and relatives who are  younger, but I take comfort in knowing that they are right behind me and will soon suffer.   So, after hosting two 50th birthday parties and attending many others, I must now face my dreaded Big 5-0.  How I hate the sound of that.  Who ever came up with that dumb saying (The Big 5-0), must die.   It’s such a cliché and does nothing but make me want to swallow a package of laxatives and disappear.

Loved ones are beginning to ask me what my plans are for my 50th and what I would like to do.   I’ve even been invited to go on a trip to Iceland with a fellow 50 year old-to-be.  Isn’t that lovely?  Now, all I think about is September 2, 2013 being right on my behind. The thought keeps popping into my mind like an annoying text notification on my phone.  I keep hearing that BEEP when I least expect it.  BEEP, “You are going to be 50 soon”. BEEP, “Men will NOT be looking your way”. BEEP, “Your breasts are no longer buoyant.”  So, I decided to tackle this beast the way I always attack what comes my way, by writing.  In addition to the fact that my brain stopped functioning at 35 and I have no memory,  I thought documenting my feelings and thoughts would be… fun.

So, before I reach this milestone, I have some things I need to settle (S), explore (E) and accomplish (A).   I have decided to call it my “SEA” to 50.   I love the ocean and would love nothing more than to ride the waves right into September 2, 2013.   Let’s see if I come out of it feeling as depressed as I feel now, or perhaps better prepared to face the years ahead.   Not unlike someone who has just been told they have only 6 months to live;  I feel a sense of panic, urgency, dread, denial, sadness, regret for what I didn’t do and scared for what is to come.

Aquatics is a theme in my family.  Although my husband Dave, has a passion for and prefers land and open space to water, he and my son Matt, are avid fishermen and spend a lot of their free time near or on the water.  My daughter Ali, like her father, swam competitively in High School.  As for me, having grown up in Puerto Rico, I have an adoration for the beach and am the happiest when I can be by the ocean.  Thus, this blog will have an aquatic theme to it.  Having said that, “Step up, swimmers take your mark; GO!.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Today is my first day documenting my journey to 50.  I will begin this long distance relay by concentrating on what really matters; Appearances & Vanity (what else?).  I will  explore my body from head to toe to see if it’s ready to reach the finish line.

Let’s start with my head.  I’m pretty happy with the shape of my head.  It’s small, nice and round, no bumps or cone-shaped areas,  yea, it’s a great head!!  Phew!  Now, for my hair.


I know.  It used to be a pretty curly, shiny black color.  My mother in-law reminded me of that once.  So I must continue to color it.  I do it at home to save money and it lasts me about 5 weeks.  I am due and need to get right to it, perhaps tomorrow.  I could use some help doing the back though.  Anyone?  I will use my trusted brand, nice’neasy by Clairol.  I can’t possibly welcome my 50’s with grey hair!


The good news is that I do not have a dry scalp.  I do not need Head & Shoulders at this time in my life but I do need to moisturize my once-shiny hair.  It is dull and full of frizz but I refuse to stop burning it with my hair straightener! Oh, and have I mentioned how much my hair is falling out?  I could provide Bruce Willis with a whole new head of hair!  My long-term use of prednisone for my Rheumatoid Arthritis is mostly to blame.  Let’s hope I have enough hair left on September 2nd.

Tomorrow, I will explore my ears, forehead, eyes and nose.  I bet you are on the edge of your seat with anticipation.  A 49-year-old has to do what a 49-year-old has to do!  Time is up for now.  GONE FISHING.

8 thoughts on “The Swim to my 50s

  1. You will never know the true demons of turning 50 until you begin to carry a stick and a marshmallow everywhere with you. My hot flashes have turned me into an official camp fire. Am still not clear on the term “hot” flash as pulling all my sweaty clothes off and heaving a deep guttural, “My God, it’s hot in here!”, is hardly “hot”. Really they should be called “Sweaty Flashes”….much more realistic.


  2. Love this Cuch!! Your grace and strength are unparallelled and will escort you to 50 with more beauty than ANYONE I know!! Courage, spirit and humor make you one of my personal heroes!! Can’t wait to read more ’cause I’m right behind ya’ sista’!!


    1. Thanks,Lee! I haven’t advertised the blog yet, but I’m having fun! The key is to blog but still get all the other things on the list done! Proving to be difficult as I learn to navigate the sites. Thanks for the kind words! xo


  3. OK, I have to begin by saying I just crossed over the mid century mark myself last month. It was an interesting experience that I wrote about on my classic rock blog (which is probably how you found me!). I never was one to think much of age, but this birthday did have an impact. Oddly enough, it felt awesome to turn 50. I won’t go into the details, which are already posted. Anyway, I like the premise of your page and the humor. I hope you have some fun with your blog and learn a few things about yourself on your countdown to the BIG 5-0 (yeah I said it!) It’s already a very entertaining read and I’m looking forward to the next installment.


    1. Thanks so much, Brian! I enjoyed your piece very much. I am glad it felt awesome for you to turn 50; perhaps that will rub off on me a bit! Right now, not so much. 🙂


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